Soul Searching
by Callea
Summary: Sam must decide between Pete and Jack. But will a mistake she makes with a friend complicate the situation? COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Soul Searching  
**Category: **Sam/Pete & Sam/Jack (implied), Sam/Daniel (friendship and something. . .a bit more complicated)  
**Spoilers: **Anything up to S8 Endgame, especially S7 Grace  
**Season/Sequel info: **Season 8, Sometime after Endgame and before Threads  
**Content Warnings:** language, sexual situations  
**Summary: **Sam must decide between Pete and Jack. But will a mistake she makes with a friend complicate the situation?  
**Authors Note:** I began this story after Endgame first aired in the US. I intended to have it completed before the second half of S8 premiere and definitely before Threads aired. That, of course, didn't quite happen. Obviously it doesn't match up with events that occur in Threads so consider it AU if you'd like.

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He rounded the corner and stopped just inside the open door. Sam didn't hear him, and she didn't look up. He quietly leaned against the doorframe, careful not to interrupt her work. He smiled as she bit her lip in concentration. She did that often, when she was deep in thought, when she was considering a solution, or when something bothered her.

She must have realized she was being watched and turned to look in his direction. When she saw her visitor, a smile spread across her features.

"Hey, Daniel."

"How's it going?" he asked as he pushed away from the doorframe.

"Great." She turned back to her computer to hit a key then spun her chair around to face him. "You going home for the day?"

"Yeah. I figured you might be in for a long evening, so I thought I'd offer to bring you some real food."

Her eyes lit up. "Mmmm. . . a cheeseburger does sound tempting."

"I can have one here in twenty minutes."

One corner of her mouth worked its way into a smile. "Thanks for the offer, but I won't be here much longer. Pete's coming in tonight since he can't make it this weekend."

He took a seat on the edge of her desk. "So you have a romantic evening planned?"

She beamed, "Yeah." Her smile faded as she added, "I'd rather have a romantic weekend planned."

"You can't have everything," Daniel pointed out.

Sam exhaled audibly. "Don't I know it." Her face brightened again as she asked, "What about you? You going to the General's tonight?"

"Yeah. I'm driving Teal'c over later."

She shifted and asked, "Did Jack send you to spy on me and find out why I'm not going?"

"Um." His face scrunched in confusion. "No. He told me you weren't going, but we all just assumed you had work to do." A guilty smile graced his lips as he cast his gaze downward. "I actually did come to try and convince you to go, but since you're busy. . ."

Sam frowned. Jack had already been here earlier attempting the same thing. When she'd refused, he'd made a hasty retreat, muttering something about how much fun she'd be missing. "I'm sorry, Daniel. I really do want to, but I haven't seen Pete for weeks."

Daniel waved away her apologies. "Don't worry about it. There'll be plenty of times we can all get together."

"You know, we should do something Saturday night." Sam caught the look on his face, and before he could speak, she added, "Unless you have plans." It was more of a question than a statement.

"Well. . . ." He smiled as he crossed his arms over his chest. "I seem to have a date."

Had she heard correctly? As long as she'd known him, she'd never heard him say those words. "You what?"

"I have a date," he repeated, emphasizing the last word. He looked down at her and sighed. "I haven't been on a real date in. . . eight, maybe nine years." A small smile crossed his lips. "Oh, wow. Saying it out loud, I sound like such a loser."

Sam chuckled and reassured her friend. "You're not a loser. I'm surprised you haven't been fighting off women with a stick."

He grinned. "I can't say I've ever had that problem."

"Oh, how quickly he forgets," she teased. "Do I have to name names?"

He smiled and shook his head, knowing exactly which women she was talking about. Shyla and Ke'ra came to mind, but even they seemed like a distant memory. And neither relationship had involved what normal people would consider dating. "Women from other planets don't count."

"Oh, so she's from Earth?"

He glared at her. "Yes, she's from Earth."

She grinned. "I was just checking."

"It's Karen Mills."

Sam's face lit up. "Really? Sergeant Mills? I like her." Slipping into her 'one of the guys' mode, she added, "And she's really cute."

"Yeah. I noticed." Coming from another man, the comment could have come off as cocky bragging. Daniel, however, was simply stating a fact.

Sam leaned back and crossed her legs, eager for details. "So how'd you ask her out?"

His head dipped as he answered, "I didn't. She asked me."

Sam's eyes widened. While Mills was always very friendly and warm, she tended to be on the shy side when it came to men. For her to have worked up the courage to ask Daniel out, she had to be very interested. "Wow, Daniel. I'm impressed." She grinned and teased, "See, what did I say? Fighting women off with a stick."

He laughed and shook his head. After a few seconds, his smile waned, and his gaze remained fixed on the floor.

Sam patted his knee to get his attention. "What is it?"

The contact drew him out of his thoughts, and he turned to look at her. "I'm thinking of backing out," he confessed.

"What? Why?"

He shrugged. "I don't think I'm interested."

Sam's jaw slackened. "Are you kidding? She's great. She's incredibly good-looking, funny, and one of the nicest people on this base. You'd be nuts not to go out with her."

He sighed. "That's what Jack said." He wrapped his arms around himself and continued. "I completely agree. She seems like a great person."

Sam's tone took on a slight edge that Daniel thought shouldn't have been there as she asked, "But?"

Filing away her perceived irritation as a misread on his part, he answered, "I just don't feel like I want to pursue a relationship right now."

Sam shook her head and blurted out, "What the hell is with you men and relationships?"

Taken aback, he stammered, "Um . . ." He searched her face, trying to determine where the question had come from. Not finding an answer, he slowly drawled out, "I don't know."

She rolled her eyes. "Of course you wouldn't. You men either jump into commitments," she ranted, "and just show up with a ring, without any discussion of it before hand, or you're busy trying to avoid relationships, shutting down any possibility of one when it might come up."

His brow wrinkled in confusion. "Umm . . . did I miss something?"

She glared at him, anger flashing in her eyes. After a second, her shoulders slumped and she shook her head. "No. Never mind."

He placed a hand on her shoulder. "Sam, is something wrong?"

She turned away, back to her computer. "No, it's nothing. I'm sorry. I'm just a little distracted."

"You wanna talk about it?"

"No. Not really," she snapped. She hadn't expected the words to come out sounding so harsh.

"Oh. Okay." He sounded hurt, and she could tell he was debating whether he should leave.

Guilt poured over Sam for the way she'd spoken to Daniel. He wasn't trying to make her angry or induce such strong resentment. She knew it was unfair to treat him like this.

She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. Why was she letting this get to her so badly? And why didn't she just take Daniel up on his offer to talk? Daniel had always been very understanding, always done his best to help her under any situation. Why should this one be any different? _Because it is different, very different,_ her mind answered. She forced herself to stuff that answer into the back of her head as she accepted Daniel's invitation. She turned back to him with an apology in her eyes. "I'm sorry, Daniel. I didn't mean to take it out on you. I know you're just trying to help, and I _would_ actually like to talk about this." A forced and uncertain smile came over her face. "If the invitation is still open."

"Of course." He seemed uncertain, as though he were trying not to push. "If that's what you really want."

She smiled and nodded. "I do."

He returned the smile. "Okay. I'll hold you to that."

"Sounds fair enough."

He glanced at his watch and looked apologetic. "I really hate to leave you, but I'd better get going. Just call me when you want to talk okay?"

"Sure thing. Have a good time."

"You too." Standing, he responded, "I'll see you tomorrow."

As he walked away, she called out, "Daniel." At the door, he turned back and she added, "Go out with her. It's just a date. Don't take it so seriously. Just have a good time."

His face lit up with his disarming smile, and he nodded. "Thanks."

_That smile is deadly, _Sam noted. She shook her head. _I hope Mills realizes what she's getting herself into. _


	2. Chapter 2

Sam knocked, four loud raps against the hard, wooden door. She waited, then after receiving no answer, she rang the doorbell.

Seconds later, she heard him call out, "Just a minute."

She probably shouldn't be here, but she really didn't know where she should be. No, that was wrong. She knew she _should_ be at home with her loving fiancé, curled up on the couch, watching a sappy movie or a scary one that would leave them both wrapped up in the safety of each other's arms. That is, if he were in town at the moment.

One place she shouldn't be was standing on someone's front porch, doubting herself and her feelings. She sighed as she leaned against the door. This may not have been the best choice, but there were much worse places she could have gone. One person's house in particular came to mind. It was bad enough she was having these kinds of thoughts. Risking her fidelity to her fiancé by going to see him was absolutely out of the question.

_This is the right decision, _she assured herself.

She heard a click, indicating he was unlocking the door and stood to avoid tumbling to the floor into an undignified heap as it opened.

"Sam! Hi."

The first thing she noticed was his surprise upon seeing her. The second thing was that he was dripping wet. His glasses were missing, and his hair was disheveled and darkened with moisture. His white tank top clung to his chest, and his well-defined arms glistened. Only his shorts remained partly dry. This, combined with the towel in his hand, made it obvious that he'd rushed out of the shower.

She shifted her weight and greeted him with an awkward smile. "Hey. You're not busy are you?"

"No, no. Come in," Daniel said, stepping back to allow her entrance.

She nodded, but didn't move.

He stepped forward, squinting slightly to look closely at her face. "Sam?"

She forced a smile of assurance. "I was hoping to take you up on that offer to talk."

"Sure," he responded and closed the door behind her as she stepped inside. Looking down at his damp clothes, he used his towel to wipe away a stray trail of water that trickled down his face. His lips formed an embarrassed smile as he motioned toward his bedroom. "Just let me get dressed first."

A genuine smile lit Sam's features. "Don't do that on my account," she teased. Off duty, she was able to act in ways military protocol didn't allow on base or during missions. One of these was to relax and joke with her teammates. Another was to remind them, as well as herself, that she was, in fact, still a woman. She often liked to combine the two, and since Daniel had returned to mortal form seemingly more comfortable with the idea that he actually was an attractive man, she'd taken to flirtatiously teasing him about his devastatingly good looks. She thought of it as her way of reminding him that he was not just some geek. "I'm enjoying the view," she added.

In the past, Daniel had gotten embarrassed when women commented on his looks. He would blush furiously, put his hands in his pockets and look at the ground. Now, his eyes only left hers for a second. He was the picture of confidence. The only things giving him away were his shy smile and the slight red tint to his cheeks. It made Sam smile to see him blush like the same old Daniel.

"I wasn't expecting company," he explained.

Already in better spirits than she'd been in all day, she decided a good friend had been exactly what she needed. With a short laugh, she gestured toward the living room. "I'll wait."

She laid her jacket across the first chair she passed then continued moving around the room, admiring the artifacts. The objects in Daniel's apartment never failed to interest her. They were half decoration, half clutter -- well, Daniel's form of clutter. Every time she visited, it seemed like there was some new piece of history. It made her wonder when he had the time to find them all.

The latest item was a book propped up on a small stand. It looked important, but it lacked the size she'd attribute to an important tome. It was about six by twelve inches, an ordinary book, except it was quite thick. The cover and pages were new, but they looked as though they were made to mimic an old text. She wondered what made it appeal to Daniel. He'd never seemed to have a strong interest in replicas.

"Want anything to drink?" he asked as he emerged from his bedroom. "I've got orange juice, milk, water, Gatorade," as he opened the fridge he added, "and Jack left some beer over here."

She stiffened at the mention of the name. "Water is fine."

She heard the clink of glass and the closing of a cabinet door. A few moments later, Daniel emerged with two glasses of water. He handed one to her and set the other on the coffee table.

"Thanks," she said.

"So?" he asked, obviously attempting to start the conversation.

Faced with actually having to discuss it, Sam found she wasn't prepared to confess her dilemma. She searched for the quickest out, and realized she could use her newly found interest as an excuse to avoid the conversation. She looked at the book without touching. "What's this?"

"That," he answered, picking it up and handing it to her, "is an exact reproduction of the Voynich Manuscript."

Placing her drink on the table, she took a seat on the sofa to thumb through the book. "What's the Voynich Manuscript?"

"It's a book discovered in 1912 by Wilfrid Voynich. He found it in a Jesuit college near Rome," Daniel said as he slid next to her.

She flipped through the pages and landed on one filled with a large drawing. It was a circle; the center contained a face enclosed by two yellow crescents. A repeating shape encircled them, flaring out like a flower or a star. Three rings of ornate text wrapped around the entire image. The drawing was crude and showed little artistic ability, but at the same time, it was quite elegant. There was something distinctly celestial about it.

Sam turned her body toward Daniel. "This is interesting. What does it say?"

"Actually, I don't know."

"Don't you know the language?"

"No. I've never seen anything like it."

"So where'd you get it?"

"I was asked to try translating it. It's so complex that no one's ever been able to do it. Two scholars tried before it was lost in the 17th century, and World War II cryptographers decoded every ancient manuscript given to them, except this one. The military thinks it could have some sort of significance if it can be translated. They've got other people working on it, but they said I'm the most qualified." He shrugged. "I guess it's something to do in my free time," he exhaled briefly and added, "if I get free time."

She gave him a questioning look. "They let you bring it home?"

"Oh, it's not classified. There are reprintings everywhere."

She continued to study the strange script. It definitely wasn't Goa'uld or Ancient. Although she wouldn't have been about to read it if it were, she could still recognize the languages when she saw them, and this was not any alien writing she'd ever seen. The idea of a new language belonging to an unknown culture or a new race of aliens they might run into one day intrigued her. "So it's an unknown language?"

"Possibly, but if it is, it's not like any I'm familiar with. There's a much larger degree of repetition than is characteristic of all known languages. Of course, it might be encoded." He paused, then with a half smile, added, "Or it could be complete nonsense." He continued as though lecturing to a group of undergrad students, "There's a researcher, Gordon Rugg, who's working to prove it's a hoax. He's suggested that Edward Kelly created it in the 16th century to con the Holy Roman Emperor. He's got this theory that Kelly used a medieval encoding method called the Cardan grille." He stopped as he realized that he'd been rambling. Though he knew Sam was generally forgiving of this tendency, he didn't want to push his luck. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to go on like that. I'm boring you, aren't I?"

Her face filled with confusion and surprise. "No, not at all." She had been enjoying listening to his explanation and watching him light up, becoming animated the way he always did when he got going. She'd been told that she often did the same thing. Thumbing through the book again, she added, "This is really intriguing."

"You know, I haven't had much time to work on the translation, but it could actually turn out to be from some race we haven't met yet."

She smiled. "I was thinking the same thing, and Earth could sure use some more allies." Wondering if, in his brief time studying the book, Daniel had gained some insight into its possible authors, she asked, "Assuming it's genuine, do you know how advanced they were? What kind of people they might be?"

"Well, considering these drawings. . ." Looking at the book upside down on her lap, he turned the pages until he found what he was searching for. "I think they could be quite interesting."

Sam laughed as she saw the page was sprawled with images of naked women. Once again noting the crude drawing style, which was even more evident on this page, she added, "Well, at least we know they aren't artists."

Daniel chuckled. "Oh, you want to see a better one?" He turned the page to another nude drawing. This one was a bit more detailed and more artistically rendered.

Sam shook her head, still grinning from ear to ear. "Daniel, did you get this thing to translate it or to look at naked pictures?"

His eyebrows shot upward for an instant, and he grinned. "Both."

She slapped his arm. "Daniel Jackson, I knew you were hiding something all these years."

He kept up the act as he grinned and winked at her. "History is _full_ of naked pictures."

Sam doubled over with laughter. Her head propped up against Daniel's shoulder as she tried to compose herself. To think -- the illustrious Doctor Jackson, who'd opened the Stargate and solved one of the greatest puzzles in human history, had done it all in the pursuit of nuddie pics. It was a laughable concept in itself, but to hear him say it aloud was priceless.

Sam managed to stifle her giggles and sat upright. She saw Daniel smiling back at her, his handsome features flushed with mild embarrassment.

His smile then changed as he seemed to recall something. "Oh, you'll like this one."

He turned the pages for her once again. She was surprised by what she saw. "They look like cells under a microscope."

"Yep."

"And this is from the 16th century?"

"Probably. Late 16th, maybe very early 17th. The research team who gave it to me has narrowed it to within a period of about 15 years."

She glanced at him briefly before she returned her focus to the book. "Interesting."

She studied the drawings, looking for signs of what type of cells they might be, trying to determine if they were accurate or if it was simply a coincidence that someone had drawn cell-like images before powerful enough microscopes had even been invented to show the artist what cells looked like. She also contemplated another possibility: she might be looking at a representation of what the first scientists who'd used microscopes, a tool she now took for granted, had seen. As she did so, Daniel gently closed the book and took it out of her hands. He was no longer smiling. "This isn't what you came to talk about."

"No," she whispered as she watched the book in his hands move to the table.

He waited for her to speak, but when she didn't, he encouraged, "So what is it?"

She considered her next words then let out a heavy sigh. "I don't even know where to begin."

He leaned forward, attempting to meet her eyes, but she didn't look at him. He tried to urge her on, "What made you so upset today?"

She desperately wanted to let it out. She'd been holding it in for so long, she wanted to shout it from the top of Cheyenne Mountain. Some days, she wished she could run down the halls of the SGC, screaming it and not caring what the other personnel thought. But she couldn't. That was far too dangerous. That's why she had to tell Daniel. Finally letting it out to only him would allow her to safely exorcise the demon that tore at her heart. Yet now that she was faced with the task, she couldn't come up with the words to explain. "I'm so confused right now. Daniel, you have to promise me that you won't say a word about what I tell you."

He looked at her with concern evident in his eyes. "Of course not. You know I wouldn't."

"I'm serious. I want to get this off my chest, but I still want to handle it on my own. I need to know that you won't say anything."

"Sam." His voice was soft as he placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. "I won't say a word -- to anyone."

She looked into his eyes, and a sudden, unexplainable apprehension washed over her. "You know, I think I could use one of those beers now."

For several long seconds, he remained seated, contemplating her. "Sure," he finally acknowledged.

She watched him cross the room with his usual confident gate. His steps were slower than normal, and she saw him ruffle a hand through his hair before stuffing both hands into his pockets. She watched his hand as it fell downward, leading her to take note of the well-defined lines of his body; the way his shirt hugged his strong arms, the way his pants hung loosely, almost enticingly from his muscular waist, the way his jeans accentuated his nicely formed. . .

She shook her head violently, halting the thoughts where they'd begun, wondering what wild impulse had led her to view her friend as a piece of meat. She admonished herself for the fleeting thought of what that physique might look like unobstructed by those pesky clothes. After all, the body in front of her belonged to Daniel, and even if she were attracted to him, she already had her hands full in the men's department.

Sam took a deep breath, a two-second equivalent to a cold shower, and relaxed into the sofa. She soon found her eyes drifting back to Daniel, and as he rounded the corner to the kitchen, she began wondering if he'd always looked this good in jeans. She'd noticed many months ago that his backside looked quite nice in his fatigues. At the time, she questioned whether Oma Desala had made some improvements in that area when she'd given him his newly descended body. Now he really had her wondering. Had this feature been a divine gift, was it from the workouts he'd begun doing more often, or had it been there all along yet she'd somehow missed it?

With Teal'c, she'd noticed almost instantaneously how great a physique he sported. It was hard not to. And she'd also noticed Jack right away. She was, after all, a woman and had taken note of the fact that both were fine male specimens. Daniel, on the other hand, had always been the cute, boyish one in her mind. But now she wasn't sure whether he'd had this body all along or whether his initial too-cute, younger brother act had just distracted her enough she hadn't noticed.

Sam came back to reality as she heard the loud clinking of glass from the kitchen. Feeling ashamed at having ogled her friend, she was grateful he wasn't in the room to see her face flush. She couldn't explain why, but whenever she got those kinds of thoughts about Daniel, it felt like a betrayal of their friendship, their trust. Maybe it was because she knew that those thoughts could only ruin the strong friendship they had, which would mean she couldn't confide in him at times like these. _Or maybe it's because the attraction just isn't there,_ she convinced herself.

"Hey, Daniel?" she called into the next room.

"Yeah?" His head poked out for a moment before it disappeared again.

"Thank you."

"For what?" he asked as he came back into view carrying two bottles.

"For this."

He put on his innocent look. "I haven't actually done anything."

"Well, thanks just for offering."

"Of course." He handed her a bottle and patted her leg as he reclaimed his seat next to her. "Now come on. Tell me what's wrong."

Sam quickly decided on what she thought might be the easiest place to start. "I'm having second thoughts."

"About?"

In answer, she held up her left hand, on which a large diamond noticeably adorned one finger.

His eyes grew large, and he exclaimed, "Oh." He licked his lips the way he did when he was processing information, then finally asked, "Any particular reason?"

She took a long swig of beer. "I. . . I uh. . ." She let out a long breath. Maybe she shouldn't say it. No, she couldn't say it. That would make it concrete, something very dangerous she had to deal with instead of a secret she kept locked away and out of reach. She swallowed hard and issued herself a stern reminder that telling Daniel was not the same as telling the whole world. She took another drink, closed her eyes and charged on. "I love someone else."

"Oh. . . ." Daniel repeated as the full weight of the situation hit him.

Sam's shoulders slumped forward, and she shook her head. "I feel like such a lowlife."

"No, you're not. Don't talk like that."

Looking him directly in the eyes, she argued, "How am I not?" Her eyes darted away as she continued. "Here I am engaged to a wonderful man, and I'm in love with my C.O. It's. . ."

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The words hit him like a thousand staff blasts to the chest. He didn't know whether it was shock or devastation, but he couldn't move. He couldn't even feel his limbs. He was no longer inside his own body. He was merely a spectator, watching from above.

He tried to regain himself as her words came back to his ears, and he realized that she'd been speaking for an untold amount of time. He wondered how long he'd been unable to hear her. Still paralyzed, he mentally shook himself and forced his brain to focus on her words.

". . .know if he feels the same. I guess it shouldn't matter. I shouldn't have even considered getting married when there was a possibility that I loved someone else. I thought I'd sorted it all out. I thought I loved only Pete, but now I'm starting to think I was all wrong."

Jack? She loved Jack? He just couldn't get past it. He couldn't say he'd never considered the possibility, but it wasn't something he felt held any serious merit. He knew they cared about each other deeply, but they _all_ cared about each other. Sure, he'd noticed the two of them flirting sometimes, but flirting doesn't mean she's in love.

Why hadn't he ever seen it? Was it only because he hadn't wanted to? A horrifying thought occurred to him. What if Jack was also in love with Sam? Had his own feelings made him that blind?

Daniel had known _he_ loved Sam when they'd found him on Vis Uban. He'd come back home because he'd sensed the love they shared, an unconditional love that most people would never find. After he'd begun to remember who he was, he had realized that he'd been wrong. Though he loved her deeply, she only loved him as a friend. Gradually, though, he had thought that was changing. She'd started smiling at him a little brighter and finding more reasons just to come see him. Hell, she'd even started flirting with him.

_Flirting doesn't mean she's in love,_ he chastised himself.

Then along came Pete. He couldn't blame her. She wanted a real life and someone to share it with, but Daniel Jackson, a teammate, wasn't the best choice for a boyfriend. Hearing that she was dating him had hurt, but he hadn't been too worried. He hadn't truly thought it would last. Then she'd announced her engagement. That had been a punch to the face, but her latest admission was a knockout blow.

This revelation meant that the feelings he hoped were blossoming between them existed solely in his mind. Those moments they shared that meant everything to him might be nothing to her.

_The heart breaks when after having been elated with flattering hopes, sees all its illusions destroyed,_ he thought, recalling words he'd read long ago.

Slowly, he found that he could control his body once again. He moved only enough to turn his face away from her to hide the tears that threatened to escape down his cheeks. She kept talking, venting really. He tried to listen, to be a good friend, but his own thoughts kept interfering.

Finally, she turned to him and asked, "How did you know you wanted to marry Sha're?"

Caught by surprise, he tried to compose himself and search for the answer. He muttered, "I. . . uh. . . well. . . I. . . I guess I felt like I had found a home, a place where I really belonged." He stopped to carefully consider his next words then finished with a whisper, "I realized I didn't want to live the rest of my life without her."

The tenderness in his voice as he spoke those last words saddened Sam. She wanted to feel love like that. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to --"

"It's okay," he interrupted. "I've moved on. I'll always love Sha're, but it doesn't hurt to think about her anymore." In truth, it wasn't thoughts of losing Sha're that were strongest in his mind.

Sam sighed. "I have to confess that ever since I met you, I always hoped I would find a man who loved me that deeply."

His voice was so intense that it sent a shiver down her spine. "You have." She met his eyes, but he lowered his gaze before she could read anything there. "I mean. . . a guy would be crazy not to love you that much and more," he added with an awkward smile.

She squeezed his knee as she told him, "Thank you, but. . ." She looked down at her hands as she confessed, "I don't deserve either of them."

He covered her hand with his, lifted her chin and brought her eyes to meet his. "Sam, please don't talk like that. Being confused about your emotions doesn't make you a bad person. You're a wonderful woman. No, let me correct that. You're the most incredible woman I've ever met." He brushed a short wisp of hair from her forehead, and with a hint of a smile, he continued, "Sam, you're this amazing, complex puzzle. I've seen how much you care about others. I know you try to hide it, but I still see. You're a caring and intelligent woman. I've never met someone who continually makes me think on higher levels the way you do. When I start to doubt myself, you're my inspiration." He began gently caressing her hair, he nearly whispered, "I can't imagine life without you."

His voice was so soft, so sincere, that, for a moment, Sam felt as though he were confessing his undying love for her. As his hand gently brushed her cheek, her eyelids slid closed, and she forgot about the aching in her chest.

Her eyelashes fluttered, and she met his gaze. He didn't look away as he told her, "I used to wonder whether you were afraid of love, whether you thought you didn't deserve to be truly loved." His thumb traced lightly over her cheek as he whispered, "But you do."

Sam couldn't remember Daniel's eyes ever being quite so intensely blue as they were at that moment. She wanted to spend the entire night swimming in those eyes. Without realizing it, her focus was drawn to his lips, and she wondered what they would feel like against her own. Those soft, moist lips continued their movement in speech, ignorant of the fact that she was no longer listening.

She forced herself to once again look into his eyes, but her gaze quickly fell to his lips -- tender, soft, and inviting. They were so tantalizingly close to hers, yet so far away. Before she knew it, she was leaning forward with her hand inching its way up his leg.

His words slowed, became a whisper then a breath as she leaned into him. Her lips hovered centimeters from his, their warm breath mingling, hinting at the steamy thoughts racing through Sam's mind.

She watched him lick his bottom lip uncertainly. As he moved his fingers through her hair, she met his eyes once again. They held a look she'd never seen before. A look that both surprised her and filled her with desire. She didn't, however, have much time to reflect on the meaning of that look, because an instant later, their lips were crushed together with intensity even deeper than she'd witnessed moments earlier in Daniel's eyes.

She pressed into him, and he drew her closer, enveloping her with his arms. His hands caressed her body through the fabric of her shirt. His fingers ran gently through her hair. Slowly, she pushed him down against the arm of his couch so that he lay with her legs straddling him. She then pulled her lips from his to form wet trails down his throat.

Moaning softly, he reveled in the sensation, then reclaimed her lips. He was overcome with hunger. At that moment, her shirt was his worst enemy. His hands worked their way under the thin fabric, pushing it upward as they slid along her body. As he raised the garment higher, she sat up and in one swift motion, pulled it over her head and threw it to the floor.

He smiled devilishly as his eyes met hers, and he sat up to capture her mouth with his. He then took the opportunity to spread kisses as far down her body as he could reach, lifting her slightly to get to her stomach.

Her hands worked their way to the hem of his shirt, and, in moments, it joined hers on the floor. Then with a hand on his bare chest, she pushed him back down. As he felt the soft touch of her lips stream down his neck, thoughts crept up from the back of his mind. As good as this felt, he had to wonder why. Why was this happening? Why was she kissing him? It simply didn't feel right.

"Sam," he breathed. "Sam, stop."

Temporarily transformed into a vixen on a mission, she either hadn't heard his protests or hadn't taken them seriously. And when he felt her lips and tongue work their way across the skin of his stomach and up his chest, he realized how very right it felt. His objections were quickly forgotten as her hand trailed over his well-defined abdomen. Her lips caressed his chest and left a hot trail all the way to his throat. She moaned softly into his ear as her fingers inched their way downward.

His suppressed thoughts also inched their way back to the forefront of his mind. He wanted her. He wanted her badly. This was the subject of every fantasy he'd had for the last year and a half. Every part of him was aching to throw her down on this couch and make love to her, but it wasn't right. He didn't want her like this. She wasn't his for the taking; her heart didn't belong to him. Moments ago, she hadn't declared her love for him. She'd declared it for his best friend.

As she began to unfasten the button on his jeans, he grabbed her hands and exclaimed, "Sam, stop!"

This time it registered, and she pulled back.

Confusion and hurt filled his voice. "What are you doing?"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sam didn't have an answer. Mere moments ago, she'd been confessing to him that she was torn between two men. Within minutes, she'd jumped all over him. She was in love with two men, and she'd been kissing another. If he hadn't stopped her, who knows how far it would have gone.

She could only come to one logical conclusion: She was using Daniel. She was using him to forget about feelings she didn't want to feel. He deserved better, much better. She didn't deserve his friendship.

"I'm sorry," she uttered as she moved off of him. "I'm so sorry."

She quickly reclaimed her shirt from the floor and pulled it over her head as she stood. Without a second look at Daniel, she grabbed her jacket, and headed for the door. As she reached for the doorknob, his hand caught hers.

She tried to keep all emotion from her voice as she looked straight ahead. "Let me go."

"No," he whispered.

Her eyes remained focused on the door. She couldn't look at him. "I'm really embarrassed right now, and I just want to leave."

"I know." He gently grasped her shoulders and pulled her around to face him. "But I'm not letting you leave like this."

"What do you want?" She almost screamed, trying to control the anger in her voice. Anger directed at herself.

Daniel blinked at the edge in her voice and relaxed his grip. He softened his voice and pleaded, "Tell me what just happened here."

The thought of it made her ill. She'd only _thought_ she was scum before. Now she knew it. "I don't want to talk about this, Daniel."

His hands dropped from her shoulders and his back stiffened. "Don't you think I deserve an explanation?"

"Yes, you do, but. . ." She wanted him to let her off the hook, to just let her walk out the door and forget about the whole mess she'd created. Instead, he remained silent, waiting for her to finish. She could have walked out right then, but she knew that wouldn't be fair to Daniel. Finally, she said, "I'm sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

He crossed his arms over his chest and closed his eyes as the guilt washed over him. He'd known she was vulnerable, and he'd taken advantage. "Sam, nothing is wrong with you. This was my fault. I'm sorry."

Shaking her head, she answered, "No, it wasn't." She stared at the floor, unable to look at him. "I feel like the biggest jerk ever. I just used you. You were being a great friend, and I took advantage of that just to get my mind off Jack and Pete."

"Oh," he said, barely loud enough to hear. He swallowed the lump in his throat and gently guided her eyes to his before he added, "This isn't all your fault. I was a participant just as much as you were. So, if you want to blame yourself, you're going to have to blame me too."

"You didn't do anything wrong," she argued

"Neither did you." As he continued, he was careful not to mention the other two men's names. "Somebody else might have reason to have a problem with this, but that's between you and them. I'm not upset, and if you decide to tell anyone about it, it's up to you. I'm not going to say anything. I won't let this ruin our friendship."

She nodded as she considered his words. A sad smile worked its way to her lips and her eyes misted. "You know, I really don't deserve you."

Daniel's hands went to his pockets and one corner of his mouth briefly turned upward. "Don't flatter me. It'll over-inflate my ego."

Sam felt herself laugh, but it came out sounding more like a sob. She threw her arms around Daniel and pulled him in tightly, using his bare shoulder to muffle any further sounds that escaped her lips.

Daniel pulled his hands from his pockets and traced light circles across her back. He felt her slowly begin to relax in his arms.

"I need to go home and think now," she whispered into his neck.

"Okay. Just promise you'll call and let me know how you're doing."

"I will." Sam pulled away and once again reached for the doorknob. "Thank you."

Daniel smiled and nodded. He felt compelled to place a soft kiss on her cheek but was afraid he'd alarm her with the gesture. So instead, he simply responded, "Goodnight."

"Goodnight," she said as she pulled the door closed behind her.

Daniel watched through the window as she got into her car and drove away. When he could no longer see the taillights, he turned back to the living room. On the coffee table sat the manuscript they'd looked at earlier. He picked it up and flipped through the pages. Now it, like half of the things in the room, would remind him of Sam.

He tossed it down, not bothering to return it to its proper place. He then let himself collapse onto the sofa. He leaned back, staring at the ceiling, and silently let fall the tears he'd been holding inside since he heard Sam say that she was in love with Jack O'Neill.


	3. Chapter 3

Daniel opened his eyes to the dark, wondering where he was and how he'd gotten there. It took him a moment to realize that he wasn't off-world, he wasn't in danger, and his teammates weren't anywhere nearby. In fact, he was in his own home, in his own living room, on his own sofa.

He glanced at the clock. It was ten. Judging by the darkness outside, that was PM, not AM. He rubbed his eyes, sat up, and squinted into the darkness, looking for his glasses. Using his hands to feel along the coffee table, he found them where he'd set them earlier. As he placed them on his nose, he remembered the reason he'd slept on his sofa.

He didn't know exactly when he'd fallen asleep. It must have been an hour or two ago. He did know that, after Sam had left, he'd spent a significant amount of time wondering how he could have thought she might fall in love with him, why he'd never figured out that she was in love with Jack, and what it would be like between them next time he saw her, among other things.

He hoped that they'd sufficiently sorted things out before she left. They'd at least been on good terms, but he wasn't sure that would last. This situation was not something he was used to dealing with. He had no way of knowing whether Sam would start to push him away. He also didn't know whether he would be able to continue working beside her, having her so close to him, knowing he would never again be as close to her as he had been that night.

Daniel rubbed his hands roughly over his face. He could handle this. If he could pull off negotiations with a group of Unas, he should certainly be able to manage the situation with Samantha Carter. Of course, the main difference was that he hadn't gotten half-naked and made out with any of the Unas. That, of course, was a situation he hoped to never find himself in. He found it ironic that he was now thinking similar thoughts about having kissed Sam, especially considering how good it had felt.

Maybe he should call Jack and talk the whole situation over. But what would he say? Would he ask Jack if he was in love with Sam? Would he confess to Jack that he himself had those feelings? If he did, Jack would never act on any feelings he held for Sam. He was too good a friend for that. Daniel knew he had to be just as good a friend, and if that meant never saying anything about the way he felt, so be it.

To be a good friend, he had to do what was best for Jack and for Sam, even if that meant losing the woman he loved to his best friend. But how would he find out for sure how Jack felt without breaking his promise to Sam not to reveal what she'd told him or what had happened between them? For that matter, how would he keep from revealing his own feelings in the process? Jack could read him like a book. The second he brought up the subject, Jack would be onto him.

He'd definitely have to put on his best poker face. Better yet, if he did it over the phone, he'd only have to use his best poker voice. Dismissing the thought that there was actually no such thing as a 'poker voice', he decided a phone call was the best course of action. That way, Jack wouldn't notice he couldn't look him in the eye. He wouldn't see the 'I'm in love with Sam' look plastered all over his face.

Daniel picked up the phone and dialed Jack's number, ready to play matchmaker. Two rings later, the older man's voice called out, "H'lo."

An image of Sam smiling and sitting on Jack's lap, kissing his ear, cooing, "get off the phone and come to bed, baby," flashed through Daniel's mind. He shook his head, forcing that horrifying thought away. He was wrong. He couldn't do this. As much as he wanted them both to be happy, he couldn't stand the thought of them being happy _together_. So what if he was a bad friend, a horrible friend, he couldn't go through with this. He had to hang up the phone.

After quickly pressing the 'end' button, he set the cordless receiver next to him on the sofa, let out a heavy sigh, and put his head in his hands. All he could think was, _Jack wouldn't have done that to me._

Moments later, he jumped at the sound of the phone ringing beside him. It would have shocked him less if it had sprouted legs and tap danced like Mr. Peanut. He stared at it, half frightened and half confused. Somehow, Jack knew.

After several long seconds, rational thought returned, and he realized there was nothing quite so dramatic happening. It could be anybody on the other end. It was completely unreasonable of him to think that just because his phone rang that Jack was onto him and what he'd done with Sam.

He picked up the phone and answered, "Hello."

An aggravated voice shouted, "Daniel, what the hell?"

_Damn, caller I.D.,_ he cursed silently. He should have remembered that before he hung up.

He faked a chipper tone. "Hey, Jack."

"Why did you hang up on me?"

"Oh, um . . . sorry. I think my phone cut out," he lied.

"Didn't you just buy that phone?"

"No, this is the old one."

"What old one? I thought we gave all that stuff away."

"Yeah, you did. Sam had one she didn't use, so she gave it to me. It's the one in my bedroom." He held his breath, hoping he hadn't said her name in some way that revealed his secret. He could have avoided using her name altogether, but there was no point in lying more than he had to. Sam _had_ given him a phone to use before he'd been able to buy one, and he did keep it in his bedroom.

"Oh," was Jack's only response.

Daniel had to get Jack off the phone before he gave himself away. "Sorry Jack, but I have to get going."

"Hey, wait. What did you call me for?"

"Oh, right. I almost forgot." Saying the first thing that came to mind, he asked, "Where's the best restaurant to take Karen this weekend?" He'd lied again. He'd already made reservations, ones he was planning to cancel.

"Why not just go to O'Malley's? You can drink some beers, shoot pool, and show her a good time."

Daniel faked enthusiasm. "Maybe I will. Thanks for the suggestion."

"No problem. Is that it?" He sounded suspicious.

"Yeah, that's it."

"Daniel, relax. Are you really that worried about this date?"

"No." This time it wasn't a lie. It was the first honest thing he'd said to Jack tonight. . . well, except the part about the phone. He hated lying, especially to his friends. He sighed as he admitted, "I was just thinking about some things."

"Are you okay?" Jack's concern was evident in his voice. Maybe it was a good thing Daniel hadn't brought up the situation with Sam. Even over the phone, he was an open book.

"Daniel . . ." He hesitated. "This isn't about Sha're is it, because it's been five years, and she'd want you --"

He cut him off. "No, Jack. This isn't about her."

"Then what is it?" Jack's tone came off as almost irritated, but Daniel knew that this was one of the only ways he managed to express his concern lately.

He could imagine himself describing the real problem. _I'm in love with a woman who's in love with you who's also engaged to another man who she may or may not love. So do you love her or not? Cause if you don't, maybe I have a chance._

He could also hear Jack's response. _Daniel, this is a little too 'Days of Our Lives' for me. Or is it '90210'? What do you think?_

"Nothing," Daniel finally answered. "I'm being stupid. Just forget I called."

"All right." He was obviously still worried, but Jack had never been one to press. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah. I'll see ya." With that, he hung up the phone.

Tomorrow. How the hell was he going to deal with tomorrow?

He sighed heavily. He was going to put on his best friend smile and pretend nothing had changed, because, fundamentally, it hadn't. Sam was still engaged to Pete; he was still secretly in love with Sam; she still loved Jack, and Jack still felt. . . well, however he felt about Sam.

The only thing that had changed was what he knew. He knew Sam was having second thoughts about her engagement. He knew she loved his best friend. He knew she didn't love him. Worst of all, he knew what it was really like to hold Sam Carter in his arms, on the verge of making love to her.


	4. Chapter 4

Any other day, Sam wouldn't have watched this movie to prevent a million Jaffa from storming the SGC. She was too old to be getting wrapped up in teen romance movies. Today, however, one held an odd appeal.

The supporting characters were superficial and over the top. The main characters were stereotypes, and the entire plot was obvious from the first second she turned it on, but she kept watching, unable to bring herself to change the channel or just shut the damned thing off. She had to admit -- it was at least better than some Cassie had forced her to watch. She could barely stomach those where some stereotypical jock guy suddenly falls for the 'surprisingly gorgeous' geek girl, and all in the course of a week, they supposedly fall happily in love.

She couldn't help but notice that those movies always ended shortly after the kiss. They never showed the heart-wrenching breakup when the couple realized there was no substance behind what they'd thought was true, undying love. This movie was likely to end with the same cheesy kiss, but at least the main characters' love had a basis. They'd been friends since childhood. They knew each other better than they even knew themselves. The love between them was actually believable . . . even though they were still naive teenyboppers.

Just as she had predicted, the new couple kissed at the end as they realized their love. That was the same instant Sam launched the first thing she could grab at her TV. Luckily for the TV, it was only one of her sofa pillows.

"Real life doesn't work that way," she muttered. She felt sorry for all the young girls who bought into that kind of garbage. She also felt sorry for herself because she'd never experienced it.

She had Pete, of course, a wonderful man and the closest she'd ever gotten to the elusive fairy tale prince that she'd stopped searching for decades ago. Not a perfect man, but one she'd come to love. She just wasn't sure of how strongly she felt that love. If she was truly honest with herself, it wasn't perfect and undying. The more she thought about it, the more she realized that she didn't want to marry him. That made her question if it was really him who was the problem or simply her own sheer terror at the thought of a commitment and everything that came with it. She had, after all, already backed out of one engagement. The problem could be entirely on her end.

She knew of another possible reason, quite probably her main obstacle to happiness. For years, the center of her attention had been Jack O'Neill. Seeing him was her reason for waking up every morning. He was the man she wanted to sweep her off her feet. Yet, before she met Pete, she'd realized that Jack was just a tool she used to protect herself from a real relationship. Now she wasn't so sure about that.

Every time she looked at her ring, she thought of Jack instead of her fiancé. It shouldn't be that way if she were over him, if there were no real feelings there. Jack wouldn't let her talk about them, though. Whether it was for his benefit or hers, she couldn't tell. Maybe he didn't feel anything for her. Maybe he knew her better than she knew herself, and he realized that what she felt wasn't true love after all. It sure felt like it to her, though.

Then there was Daniel. He'd been newly hurled onto the pile labeled 'Sam Carter's Men Problems' when she'd thrown herself at him a few days ago. Since that night, she hadn't even been able look him in the eye, and she'd completely avoided looking at him as best she could. She had no explanation for it. Their friendship should have been fine, and she shouldn't have felt so uncomfortable around him. Daniel had done his best to see to that.

'Should haves' and logic aside, though, she got a knot in her stomach whenever he entered the room. At the debriefing earlier that day, their eyes had met, and her face had instantly felt like it'd burst into a ball of flames. She knew she was just compounding her problems by avoiding Daniel, but something didn't feel right between them. Instead of the usual comfort and ease, there was an unnerving tension. Not only that, but she couldn't manage to shake the memory of him caressing her body, licking her skin.

She had a dreadful feeling she had damaged their friendship irreparably. To make matters worse, it was all on her end. He didn't seem to be having the same problems. They'd agreed not to let the incident come between them, but she wasn't living up to the agreement.

He, on the other hand, seemed to be making every attempt to return their relationship to normal. The last couple days he'd casually come to visit her as usual. She'd avoided him, and he'd noticed. He'd tried to talk about it, and she'd given him some lame excuse for why she didn't have the time. He'd even called last night, but she hadn't answered, and she hadn't called back.

Luckily, it was now Friday night and she didn't have to see Daniel for days, likewise with Jack and Pete. She had a whole weekend to set everything straight in her head. Her messed up love life and friendships were the last thing she wanted to think about, but the one thing she knew she had to.

She turned off the TV. It wasn't helping. It was just distracting and a bit irritating.

For the hundredth time that week, she stared at her engagement ring. It was quite beautiful, exactly what she would picture as the perfect ring. And Pete was pretty damned close to her picture of the perfect man. He was caring, handsome, sweet, and always there for her. So what was the problem?

She wished she could call Janet. She could hardly believe it had been over a year since her death. At times like these, she missed her the most. She missed having another woman to talk to, especially someone like Janet, who always knew the right thing to say, the right thing to do and seemed to be a fountain of knowledge on men and relationships.

But now Sam had to face the fact that Janet wasn't there, and she had screwed up, so she couldn't talk to Daniel either. Talking to Jack for advice was completely out of the question and would be incredibly uncomfortable. It had always turned out that way when she'd tried to talk to him in the past. There was no reason she should expect otherwise this time. Of course, there was always Teal'c, but something just seemed absurd about going to Teal'c for relationship advice. Granted, being over one hundred years old, he probably had more experience with relationships than any of them, but she couldn't bring herself to confess to the Jaffa warrior how badly she'd screwed up her love life. It simply seemed too trivial to bring to his attention.

This meant she was on her own for some serious soul searching. She glanced around her empty living room. _How exactly does one begin soul searching? _she wondered. One possibility was to knock herself unconscious and hope for some enlightening visions like she'd had when she woke up on the Prometheus. Probably not the best course of action.

_Maybe word association. _It was something one of her undergrad psychology professors had once suggested as a method to get to the truth of what you feel. She couldn't think of any better way, so she decided it was worth a try.

She went to her desk for a pen and paper then settled back on the sofa. 'Love,' she wrote at the top of the page. _Jack, _was the first thought that came to mind. She didn't write it. That wasn't exactly the point of the exercise.

_Love. _She underlined the word. _Love. What the hell is love? _She underlined it once more and sighed. _It's not that difficult. Love is. . . _

She wrote 'happiness' on the page. She hadn't been experiencing much of that this past week. She thought of the times she was the happiest. They were those simple times like when she went for a walk in the park with Pete, went out for coffee with Daniel, or when all of her friends had gotten together to throw Teal'c a house warming party.

'Laughter,' she wrote next. There had certainly been plenty of laughter that weekend. Teal'c had been on Earth for quite some time, but most of what he knew about life outside the base he'd learned from TV. Knowing this, Jack and Daniel had tried to convince him that one of the rituals involved in getting your first apartment was running naked through the hallways. Of course, Sam knew neither of them actually thought Teal'c would believe them, but that didn't stop them from one-upping each other in their attempts to make their story believable. Daniel had even gone to the extent of describing the cultural significance behind the act. The best part had been when Teal'c shut them up by describing the ritual involved on Chulak when one discovers that his friends are deceiving him.

There had also been a bit of drinking involved that night. True to form, Daniel waxed philosophical once he'd had a few. She couldn't think of anything more entertaining than a slightly tipsy Daniel. It made her smile just thinking about it.

'Smile,' she wrote. Daniel's smile flashed through her mind. Not that woman-melting smile, but the soft, tender smile that he had just for her. She often saw it when they were joking with each other, teasing each other. Lately, some people might even consider it flirting.

'Daniel'. She stared at the page, unwilling to believe what she'd just written three lines below the word 'Love'. _Well this was pointless._ She crumpled the paper and tossed it over her shoulder, not even bothering to aim for the trash can. "I never liked that psychology professor anyway," she mumbled.


	5. Chapter 5

Daniel stood in the hallway, hands in his pockets, lingering outside the closed door. He reached up, and his hand hovered inches from its surface as he hesitated. He inhaled deeply and forced his hand to connect with the door.

"Enter," a deep voice called from the other side.

He cracked the door and stuck in his head. "Teal'c, hi."

Teal'c smiled at his friend in greeting. "Hello, DanielJackson. I hope you are doing well."

"Yeah, mostly." He tentatively rubbed the back of his neck and hesitated in the doorway before adding, "That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about."

The larger man raised an eyebrow. At the silent invitation to go on, Daniel stepped inside and closed the door behind him.

"Can I ask your advice on something?" Daniel continued.

"Indeed, you may."

Folding his arms tightly around himself and not quite meeting the larger man's eye, Daniel asked, "Well, uh. . . what would you do if you were. . . uh. . . in love with a woman who's. . .," he stopped and shifted his feet before he finished, "in love with someone else?"

"You truly wish to know what i I /i would do?" Teal'c asked in his most deliberately serious tone.

What would Teal'c, the Jaffa warrior and former First Prime of Apophis, do? Maybe that was a question better left unanswered. Realizing that this was Teal'c's form of a joke, a slight smile crept to Daniel's lips. He relaxed and crossed the room to take a seat across from his friend. "Okay, what would you suggest a man from Earth do?"

Teal'c studied him for several moments with a piercing gaze that was nearly uncomfortable for Daniel. Finally, he answered, "I would suggest you tell ColonelCarter how you feel."

If he'd been drinking, he would have done a spit take. "What?" Daniel gasped.

"Are we not speaking of you and ColonelCarter?"

His mouth still hanging open, Daniel asked, "Teal'c, what would make you think that?"

"I have observed you glancing at her when you have no cause to do so. On occasion, you look at her with what some might call a 'twinkle' in your eye. Also, much like the woman in your scenario, she is currently taken."

i Oh, shit. /i He hoped Teal'c was the only one who'd noticed. The chances were good. Teal'c was, after all, one of the most observant people Daniel knew.

He sat silently, debating whether he should deny his friend's accusation or confirm it. Deciding that denial would do him no good and would only add another lie to the list of those he'd told his friends, he confessed. "So I'm really that obvious?"

"I believe it would not be so were you to ask another individual. I have seen no indication that others are aware of your feelings for ColonelCarter. I myself did not know for certain until you posed your question to me moments ago."

Daniel nodded his response, and Teal'c questioned, "You are concerned because of ColonelCarter's engagement to Pete Shanahan?"

"No. Yes. Sort of." He looked at Teal'c, hoping the big guy knew what he was getting at. The only response he received was a quizzical eyebrow. "I i was /i initially upset about her engagement, but I was also happy for her. I was getting used to the idea that she was getting married. Don't get me wrong. Deep down, I still hoped she would change her mind and realize that she wanted to be with me," a sarcastic smile found it's way to his lips, "but I'd pretty much given up all hope of that." The smile disappeared and was replaced by a deep frown. "Now. . . damn, now. . . well, I wasn't prepared for this. I got used to the idea of her with i Pete /i , but. . . but. . . I do still want her to be happy, but. . . of all people. . ."

Interrupting Daniel's rambling, Teal'c cautiously questioned, "You are referring to her feelings for O'Neill?"

Daniel's eyes grew as big as saucers then narrowed as he glared at Teal'c. How the hell did he already know everything? Daniel suddenly felt like the biggest fool on the planet. "You knew?"

"I have observed ColonelCarter's behavior in much the same way as I have observed yours. She has, of course, been a bit more obvious with her feelings than you have been."

Ouch. Teal'c hadn't meant for those words to hurt. He was merely stating a matter of fact, but that didn't stop the nail from entering Daniel's heart. The signs had been there, but he'd been too blind to see them.

"Did you not realize ColonelCarter felt this way about O'Neill?" Teal'c asked, second guessing whether he should have brought up the subject.

"No, I did." With a half smile, he added, "I just had to learn it the hard way."

Teal'c cocked his head to the side, looking confused.

Daniel's eyes fixed on the floor. "A couple nights ago, Sam came to my house to talk. She told me she was in love with Jack."

Teal'c sensed there was more to the story. "And?"

Daniel inhaled deeply, looked up from the floor, and answered, "And she ended up kissing me. Or I kissed her. I'm not really sure which." That statement earned him another confused look from his friend, which compelled Daniel to try to explain. "I was talking, and she. . ." He pictured her lips as they'd hovered near his, then her pulling off her top and tossing it to the floor, revealing the yellow satin bra and soft, milky skin that was almost always kept hidden from him. His cheeks grew hot, and he cut off his description. "Well, that's not really important, but she did a lot more than just kiss me." Taking a minute to recompose himself, he realized what he'd just done. "Oh, shit. I shouldn't have told you that. I promised her I wouldn't say anything."

"I will tell no one," Teal'c assured him.

Daniel nodded. "Thanks."

Silence remained between them until Teal'c finally asked, "Do you believe this indicates that she returns your feelings?"

He shook his head. "No. She made that pretty clear. She said she was just. . ." He felt a lump forming in his throat, and he swallowed hard to fight it back. "She was just using me to distract herself from the situation with Jack and Pete."

Teal'c said nothing. He merely looked at the floor with a contemplative, far away expression.

Curious what his friend was thinking, Daniel prodded, "Teal'c?"

He looked up from the floor and met Daniel's eyes. "That does not sound like the ColonelCarter I have grown accustomed to."

"What do you mean?"

"ColonelCarter values your friendship far too much to risk throwing it away in such a careless manner."

Daniel's eyes glimmered as though Teal'c had turned on a light bulb inside his head. "What are you saying?"

"I have said nothing more than what I stated." He was playing coy.

"You think I should go after her?"

"I believe you should do what you feel you should do."

Daniel liked the sound of that, but he still had one big problem. "I can't do that, Teal'c. What about Jack?"

"I believe your people have a saying: 'All is fair in love and war'."

"Yes, Teal'c, but it doesn't work that way when you're dealing with your best friends. You can't just steal your friend's girl."

"I was not aware that O'Neill had staked a claim on ColonelCarter."

Daniel glared at him. "You know what I mean, Teal'c."

"That does not negate my original point. O'Neill and ColonelCarter are not involved romantically. He has made no admission of his feelings toward her. If you express your feelings, and she returns them, you are not stealing her from him."

"But what if I tell her, and she doesn't return my feelings?"

"You must be prepared to face the outcome."

"I don't think I am."

"Then you must be prepared to forever wonder what would have happened if you had told her."

He nodded. Though a bit melodramatic in his presentation, Teal'c was right. Years from now, Daniel didn't want to look back and wish he'd acted. But he still had a problem with Teal'c's suggestion. "I can't go behind Jack's back like that."

"Then speak to O'Neill about it first."

For some reason, Teal'c didn't get it. Daniel's jaw clenched as he shook his head then nearly shouted, "I can't do that!"

"Then it appears that all you can do is sit around second guessing and making yourself miserable."

His tone was perfectly calm, but the words themselves were harsh. Daniel knew he deserved them. He'd come to Teal'c hoping to find a way to move on, to get over Sam and to keep his friendship safe. Instead, Teal'c was filling his head with the idea that he had a chance with her and advising him to pursue a relationship. How incredibly frustrating.

At the same time, though, Teal'c had given him exactly what he'd been looking for. If he confessed his feelings, and she rejected him, it would set him straight on the path to moving on. Of course, he couldn't be sure how safe their friendship would be after that.

In any case, Teal'c was just trying to help, and he had no right to yell at him. "I'm sorry. You're right."

"Does this mean you intend to express your feelings?"

"I'm still not sure." Before he decided that, he had one other decision to make: whether it was more important he get over Sam or that he keep their friendship intact.


	6. Chapter 6

"No way."

"Yes! I swear."

"Seriously? Teal'c?" Sam asked.

"If you met him, you'd see it too," Cassie assured from the other end of the phone line.

"All right, I believe you. So, I bet your professor doesn't have much trouble keeping control of the class then."

"Nope. They're all terrified of him." Cassie laughed. "I'm the only one who's had the guts to go up and talk to him."

"Good for you!"

"Thanks. He marked an answer on my test wrong, but I knew it was right. Angie warned me not to say anything, because he'd fail me or kick me out of class for it." She chuckled before finishing, "I think they all would have dragged me back to my seat if they weren't afraid of bringing his wrath upon themselves. He was really nice about it, though. That's when I knew he was just like Teal'c: big, foreboding exterior, but a total softy on the inside."

Sam laughed. "That's Teal'c, all right. Of course, you've never seen him take on a System Lord."

"Oh, I know nobody can kick butt like my Uncle T." Cassie laughed. "Speaking of which, I know a few guys I might like to have him take care of, so to speak."

"Just give him a call. I'm sure he'd be more than happy to help."

She laughed, then added, "Honestly, I might."

"Uh oh. That bad?"

"No, not really," she admitted. "It's just that guy I told you about. Now he's started sending me flowers. They've shown up every week for a month. I've tried to turn him down gently, but he just doesn't seem to get it."

"I'm far from an expert on these things, Cassie, but I think you need to be direct. The longer you let him go on thinking he has a chance, the worse it's going to be for him."

"I know, but I don't want to be a total bitch."

"Cassie, sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind." She quickly amended, "But still try to be nice about it. Don't crush the guy, but make it clear that you're not interested."

Sam heard a long sigh come across the line. "You're right." A smile was more than evidence in Cassie's voice as she added, "What would I do without a wise old woman like you giving me advice."

"Hey, I'm not _that_ old!"

"You're only as old as you feel, right?" Cassie's laughter was interrupted by a loud knocking sound. "Can you hang on a second, Sam? Somebody's at my door."

"Sure." Sam flipped through her TV Guide as she waited for Cassie to return, hearing the faint sound of jumbled teenaged voices through the receiver. Moments later, Cassie returned. "Sorry 'bout that."

She tossed the magazine back on the table. "You got company?"

"Yeah. My friends from down the hall just showed up. We're gonna study for awhile, then catch a movie."

"Sounds fun. I'll let you go, then. Will I see you next weekend?"

"Yep. I'll be there."

"Okay. See you then. Love you, Cass."

"Love you too."

Sam hung up the phone and headed for the kitchen. She hadn't eaten all day, and it was already 4 pm. She hadn't been hungry, but now she was starving. She opened the refrigerator and was instantly disappointed by what she saw. Half-eaten takeout food and condiments. Closing it, she opened the freezer and was greeted with equal disappointment. Not even a frozen dinner. She hadn't been grocery shopping in over two weeks.

Hoping for a stockpile of canned or dried goods, she headed for the cabinets. The selection there was sparse, made up mostly of foods that had found their way into the cabinet long ago but had never found their way out. Popcorn, soup mix, mac 'n cheese, canned pears, frosting. -- She often bought frosting with the intention of putting it on a cake. Not once had it ever made it that far nor had she ever actually made a cake to put it on.

She continued her search. A can of French fried onions caught her attention. She'd bought them intending to make one of those casserole dishes she liked, but she really had no idea how to cook one. She knew it involved green beans and the onions went on top, but beyond that, she was clueless. She'd always meant to look up a recipe for it, but here they were over a year later, still occupying space in her cabinet. Who was she kidding? She was never going to make a casserole. Sam Carter and cooking did not mesh. She grabbed the onions, contemplating whether they would be a good snack on their own. Looking at the label, she realized that there was a recipe right there on the back waiting for her. "Huh. Why didn't I see that before," she muttered as she put the can back, holding out hope that she might one day eat that casserole after all.

She opened the next cabinet, and before she could scour it, the phone rang. It took two rings before she reached the caller I.D. It read 'Jackson, Daniel'.

She didn't answer. After the fourth ring, her machine picked up, and she heard a familiar voice speaking in a calm, formal tone.

"Colonel-Doctor Samantha Carter. This is Doctor Daniel Jackson. I have a naquada reactor here that's going to blow up if I don't get help immediately. Please pick up the phone. This is a life and death situation."

Sam knew Daniel well enough to realize that there was no impending doom. Along with his tone of voice, the "Colonel-Doctor" had been the most obvious giveaway. Though he'd never used that particular title before, "Captain-Doctor" had been a common nickname he'd used when they first met. He'd even called her "Major-Doctor" once or twice, but only when he was merely pretending to address her formally.

Daniel continued, "Not buying it huh? Well, call me back by tomorrow, or I'm going to make a request to send the entire Air Force to your house to check on you." He paused for several seconds. "Seriously though, Sam, I wish you'd to talk to me. I want to know--"

She picked up the phone and interrupted him, "Hello, Daniel."

She heard the smile in his voice, "Hey!" She could picture his expression. It had to be his 'I'm too adorable for you to be upset with me' smile. "How's your day been?"

"Good. It's been good. "

"I'm glad." He paused. "I've been wanting to talk to you, and I was really hoping you'd let me buy you dinner as a peace offering."

"Why should you make the offering? I'm the one who screwed up."

"Hmm. . . good point. You should buy."

"Daniel, I think that's where you were supposed to tell me I didn't screw up," she joked.

"Sam, I shouldn't have to tell you this again, but you didn't screw up."

The corners of her mouth crept upward. "Thanks, Daniel."

"No problem." He was smiling again as he asked, "So. . . does that mean I still have to pay?"

"It does now," she joked with a giggle, temporarily forgetting the complication that had arisen in their friendship.

"Great! I'll pick you up at seven. Dress nice."

Before she could refuse, the line went dead. _When did he learn to do that?_ Sam wondered as her stomach rumbled. She shrugged. She ought to at least find a snack to tide her over until dinner.

"No way."

"Yes! I swear."

"Seriously? Teal'c?" Sam asked.

"If you met him, you'd see it too," Cassie assured from the other end of the phone line.

"All right, I believe you. So, I bet your professor doesn't have much trouble keeping control of the class then."

"Nope. They're all terrified of him." Cassie laughed. "I'm the only one who's had the guts to go up and talk to him."

"Good for you!"

"Thanks. He marked an answer on my test wrong, but I knew it was right. Angie warned me not to say anything, because he'd fail me or kick me out of class for it." She chuckled before finishing, "I think they all would have dragged me back to my seat if they weren't afraid of bringing his wrath upon themselves. He was really nice about it, though. That's when I knew he was just like Teal'c: big, foreboding exterior, but a total softy on the inside."

Sam laughed. "That's Teal'c, all right. Of course, you've never seen him take on a System Lord."

"Oh, I know nobody can kick butt like my Uncle T." Cassie laughed. "Speaking of which, I know a few guys I might like to have him take care of, so to speak."

"Just give him a call. I'm sure he'd be more than happy to help."

She laughed, then added, "Honestly, I might."

"Uh oh. That bad?"

"No, not really," she admitted. "It's just that guy I told you about. Now he's started sending me flowers. They've shown up every week for a month. I've tried to turn him down gently, but he just doesn't seem to get it."

"I'm far from an expert on these things, Cassie, but I think you need to be direct. The longer you let him go on thinking he has a chance, the worse it's going to be for him."

"I know, but I don't want to be a total bitch."

"Cassie, sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind." She quickly amended, "But still try to be nice about it. Don't crush the guy, but make it clear that you're not interested."

Sam heard a long sigh come across the line. "You're right." A smile was more than evidence in Cassie's voice as she added, "What would I do without a wise old woman like you giving me advice."

"Hey, I'm not _that_ old!"

"You're only as old as you feel, right?" Cassie's laughter was interrupted by a loud knocking sound. "Can you hang on a second, Sam? Somebody's at my door."

"Sure." Sam flipped through her TV Guide as she waited for Cassie to return, hearing the faint sound of jumbled teenaged voices through the receiver. Moments later, Cassie returned. "Sorry 'bout that."

She tossed the magazine back on the table. "You got company?"

"Yeah. My friends from down the hall just showed up. We're gonna study for awhile, then catch a movie."

"Sounds fun. I'll let you go, then. Will I see you next weekend?"

"Yep. I'll be there."

"Okay. See you then. Love you, Cass."

"Love you too."

Sam hung up the phone and headed for the kitchen. She hadn't eaten all day, and it was already 4 pm. She hadn't been hungry, but now she was starving. She opened the refrigerator and was instantly disappointed by what she saw. Half-eaten takeout food and condiments. Closing it, she opened the freezer and was greeted with equal disappointment. Not even a frozen dinner. She hadn't been grocery shopping in over two weeks.

Hoping for a stockpile of canned or dried goods, she headed for the cabinets. The selection there was sparse, made up mostly of foods that had found their way into the cabinet long ago but had never found their way out. Popcorn, soup mix, mac 'n cheese, canned pears, frosting. -- She often bought frosting with the intention of putting it on a cake. Not once had it ever made it that far nor had she ever actually made a cake to put it on.

She continued her search. A can of French fried onions caught her attention. She'd bought them intending to make one of those casserole dishes she liked, but she really had no idea how to cook one. She knew it involved green beans and the onions went on top, but beyond that, she was clueless. She'd always meant to look up a recipe for it, but here they were over a year later, still occupying space in her cabinet. Who was she kidding? She was never going to make a casserole. Sam Carter and cooking did not mesh. She grabbed the onions, contemplating whether they would be a good snack on their own. Looking at the label, she realized that there was a recipe right there on the back waiting for her. "Huh. Why didn't I see that before," she muttered as she put the can back, holding out hope that she might one day eat that casserole after all.

She opened the next cabinet, and before she could scour it, the phone rang. It took two rings before she reached the caller I.D. It read 'Jackson, Daniel'.

She didn't answer. After the fourth ring, her machine picked up, and she heard a familiar voice speaking in a calm, formal tone.

"Colonel-Doctor Samantha Carter. This is Doctor Daniel Jackson. I have a naquada reactor here that's going to blow up if I don't get help immediately. Please pick up the phone. This is a life and death situation."

Sam knew Daniel well enough to realize that there was no impending doom. Along with his tone of voice, the "Colonel-Doctor" had been the most obvious giveaway. Though he'd never used that particular title before, "Captain-Doctor" had been a common nickname he'd used when they first met. He'd even called her "Major-Doctor" once or twice, but only when he was merely pretending to address her formally.

Daniel continued, "Not buying it huh? Well, call me back by tomorrow, or I'm going to make a request to send the entire Air Force to your house to check on you." He paused for several seconds. "Seriously though, Sam, I wish you'd to talk to me. I want to know--"

She picked up the phone and interrupted him, "Hello, Daniel."

She heard the smile in his voice, "Hey!" She could picture his expression. It had to be his 'I'm too adorable for you to be upset with me' smile. "How's your day been?"

"Good. It's been good. "

"I'm glad." He paused. "I've been wanting to talk to you, and I was really hoping you'd let me buy you dinner as a peace offering."

"Why should you make the offering? I'm the one who screwed up."

"Hmm. . . good point. You should buy."

"Daniel, I think that's where you were supposed to tell me I didn't screw up," she joked.

"Sam, I shouldn't have to tell you this again, but you didn't screw up."

The corners of her mouth crept upward. "Thanks, Daniel."

"No problem." He was smiling again as he asked, "So. . . does that mean I still have to pay?"

"It does now," she joked with a giggle, temporarily forgetting the complication that had arisen in their friendship.

"Great! I'll pick you up at seven. Dress nice."

Before she could refuse, the line went dead. _When did he learn to do that?_ Sam wondered as her stomach rumbled. She shrugged. She ought to at least find a snack to tide her over until dinner.


	7. Chapter 7

"When you said dinner, I wasn't expecting this." Sam said as she took in the beautifully decorated, candle-lit balcony. Daniel had driven them just outside the city to an inn accompanied by one of the nicest restaurants in Colorado Springs. It was perched atop a high hill that allowed her to gaze down on the treetops, dimly lit by the rich purples and golds of the sun setting behind the mountains.

She had to admit, Daniel was a great view himself. When he'd shown up at her door, her jaw had nearly hit the ground. She'd seen him dressed up before, but. . . wow. He looked very GQ in a dark grey suit and blue shirt that made his eyes look absolutely striking. To top it all off, he hadn't worn a tie. Of all the times she could remember, Daniel had always worn ties with his suits, and she found his open collar to be very sexy. Not that she thought of Daniel that way.

She was glad she'd made the decision to change clothes when she'd seen his. She'd underestimated what he meant by 'nice' and had chosen a cute floral skirt. She immediately felt underdressed when he'd arrived. Changing clothes had set them back about twenty minutes, but Daniel hadn't seemed to mind.

She'd enjoyed the appreciative look and compliment he'd given her as she walked out in her strappy, red cocktail dress, but now she wondered whether she should have chosen something a bit less revealing. She had plenty of dresses which didn't show as much cleavage. She had even more which didn't have asymmetrical hems that crept dangerously high on her right thigh, and she had a _lot_ which were more appropriate for a platonic dinner date with her friend.

She tugged the hem of her dress down a bit as she sipped from her wine glass. Luckily, no men had been gawking at her, and Daniel didn't seem to mind her clothes at all, so it was better than the awkward feeling of being underdressed.

She looked through the patio doors at the sparkling crystal chandelier inside. _Everything_ about this place was elegant. If they'd visited a few decades earlier, they might have been graced with the presence of Cary Grant or Bing Crosby. At least, that's what their waiter had told them.

If Daniel was trying to impress her, it was working. How could she even think of continuing to give him the cold shoulder after he'd gone to all this trouble?

"How did you get reservations on such short notice?" she asked.

"I told them I know the President," he quipped. She looked at him skeptically, and he admitted, "I made them last week."

Confusion filled her face, and he elaborated, "This is uh. . ." He smoothed his jacket as he stalled. Sam could tell he didn't want to reveal what he was about to say. "I'm sorry. I wanted to go somewhere else, but I couldn't find anywhere this nice on short notice." With an embarrassed grin he finished, "This is where I was going to bring my date."

Sam gasped. It hadn't occurred to her that tonight was the night Daniel had had his date planned. She'd been too caught up in her own problems, and now she felt horrible that she hadn't realized it without him having to tell her. "You cancelled your date?"

"Yeah, I just couldn't go through with it."

She was heartbroken for him. "Why not? I thought you'd decided to go."

"Initially, I did, then I changed my mind. Then I changed my mind again. Then. . ." His voice trailed off. "Well, you get the idea. The point is that I didn't want to lead her on." He smiled at Sam and added, "I'm pretty sure I made the right decision."

"Well if you're happy, then I'm happy for you." With a warm grin, she added, "Just as long as I wasn't your second choice for tonight."

"Sam," Daniel placed his hand over hers across the table, met her eyes, and smiled as he assured, "you could never be my second choice."

His comforting words of friendship filled her with warmth and brought a smile to her face, one that reached all the way to her eyes. When she looked down at their hands, the warmth steadily grew and culminated in her face, making her cheeks feel like they were on fire. It was overwhelming -- suffocating. She withdrew her hand, coughed nervously, and asked, "You didn't cancel because of what happened the other night did you?"

"No, not at all."

Sam wasn't sure he was being completely truthful, but she decided to believe him. After all, he had no reason to lie, did he? The corners of her lips curled upward and she nodded, "Good. I'd feel really bad if you cancelled on account of something I did."

He dismissed her concerns with a wave of his hand. "Don't worry about it."

Sam couldn't shake the feeling there was something Daniel wasn't telling her, but before she could probe further, he asked, "So how was your day?" He was deliberately changing the subject, and at that point, Sam knew there was definitely something Daniel was hiding. But instead of calling him on it, she decided to wait him out and see if he would be more willing to talk later.

"It was good." She thought back to her useless attempts at soul searching, her attempt at word association, and the incredibly depressing reason for doing it all. Her features formed a small frown as she finished, "Considering . . ." Daniel gave her an encouraging smile, which she returned. "How was yours?" she asked.

"Good. I got to spend some quality time with Teal'c."

"Sounds nice."

"Yeah."

Silence loomed for a moment, and Sam stabbed a tomato with her fork. Pushing her food around the plate, her thoughts drifted back to what Daniel might be hiding from her. She looked up, and over Daniel's shoulder, through the patio doors and across the restaurant, she saw a couple walking up the stairs to what was probably the inn section of the building. It raised a very pressing question. "Daniel, can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

She made certain to state it delicately. "Did you . . . um . . . reserve a room?"

"What?" He gasped. "No! Of course not."

Sam realized how the question might have come off and amended, "I meant for you and Sgt. Mills, not for us."

Daniel's eyelids fluttered before he responded, "That's what I thought you meant."

"Right." Sam's face grew hot, as she realized she'd briefly pictured Daniel's naked body tangled with hers in a moment of sweaty passion. She wondered why the idea wasn't as off-putting as she'd have expected. In fact, she found it somewhat thrilling.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Daniel watched the blush creep up Sam's cheeks and all the way to her ears as she fixed her gaze on the tablecloth. When he saw her almost sensually lick her lips, he decided to test a theory. He leaned toward her and whispered, "Sam, you're not getting any ideas are you?"

Her head shot up, and her eyes widened. "Oh. . . Um. . . ," she stammered.

Realizing he might be onto something, Daniel smiled and purposefully took a sip of wine.

Shaking her head, Sam finally stated, "N. . . no. Of course not."

He chuckled as he set down the glass. "Oh, wow. I didn't realize it was _that_ horrifying a thought."

She quickly back peddled. "No, not at all. At least, not for the reasons you'd think."

Daniel raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"

"Daniel, you're obviously an attractive guy. It'd be hard for a woman not to notice. It's just that. . ."

"What?"

"You're more like. . . well, it'd be like kissing my brother, Daniel."

He gaped at her. "What? Ouch. Are you serious?" Sam just shrugged, looking apologetic. "You know, Sam, I don't think I believe that."

"Oh really? Why not?"

Daniel spent an extra long time scrutinizing her, considering whether it was safe to say what he was thinking. Finally, he leaned in and whispered, "When's the last time you made out with your brother on his couch?"

Sam's jaw dropped, and she stared wide-eyed at him. "Daniel Jackson, I can't believe you just brought that up."

"Well, you were asking for it. Your brother? Talk about harsh. That's the worst thing a woman can say to a guy."

Sam grinned wickedly. "At least I didn't say 'sister'."

A fiendish smile slowly grew on Daniel's face, and he found himself saying something to Sam that he never imagined being able to say without ending up flat on his back -- and not in the good way. "Very funny. Keep it up, and I'll come over there and give you a second chance to find out what it's like."

Daniel watched Sam's face flush as she shifted uncomfortably, as though the temperature had just jumped ten degrees. Her eyes darted away, and she hastily reached for her glass of wine. Now he was certain he was on to something.

Sam spent an inordinately long time sipping her wine, and as she set the glass down, it was her turn to change the subject. "I talked to Cassie today. She says hello. She really misses you guys."

Daniel took note of the change, but decided to let it slide and see how things played out. He made a half-hearted attempt to smother his smile as he asked, "Really? I should give her a call. I haven't talked to her for months."

Sam's smiled back, almost challenging him. "Well, it's really hard to reach her lately with all her classes and new college friends. She's coming next weekend, though. You should stop by and see her."

"I think I will." He stopped to take a sip of wine, thoroughly extinguished his smirk, then asked, "How are her classes going?"

"I think she's really enjoying them." Sam beamed as she talked about Cassie. It was as though she was speaking about her own child. "She's feeling pressured to declare her major, though. She says she doesn't want to be one of those people who've made a career out of college and still don't know what they want to do."

Daniel chuckled, recalling more than a couple of individuals from his college days. "So she's met a few of those, has she?"

"Yeah. One of them is continually hitting on her. He buys her flowers and everything."

"Ahh. . . hormonal college boys. Why do I feel like me, Jack, or Teal'c should be there fending them off?"

Sam laughed. "I'm tempted to go do it myself." Letting out a short breath, she added, "At least that guy's better than this other sleaze ball she was telling me about. I would've laid that guy out."

"I hope she let him have it."

"She _is_ her mother's daughter, isn't she?"

They both laughed. "She certainly is."

The laughter faded into uncomfortable silence as the mention of their fallen friend brought back somber memories. "I still miss her," Sam said.

"I know. Me, too."

Sam stared at her plate and bit her lip as though she were fighting back bad memories. "We'll probably go visit her grave." He heard her voice waver before she coughed and continued on. "That is, when Cassie comes down. I haven't been there since the funeral, but I think Cassie will want to go. She went before she left for college. I wanted to go with her then, but I just couldn't. . ." She broke off and rapidly blinked back tears that threatened to burst forth.

Once again, Daniel's hand found its way to hers. This time, she grasped onto it, both accepting and offering support. "We should all go. Together," he assured her. He knew she would understand that 'all' included Jack and Teal'c.

Sam nodded, then looked up at him to ask, "Why don't we ever talk about it, about her? We hardly even mention her name anymore."

He knew it wasn't because none of them thought about her. At least, it wasn't because he didn't. It still kept him awake some nights, reliving the sight of her death, the helplessness and guilt he felt looking down at her lifeless body. "Maybe after all this time. we've all become a bunch of head cases in denial. If we don't talk about it, it never happened. Or maybe we've collectively adopted the Jack O'Neill coping mechanism, as unhealthy as it is."

He'd expected her to nod or agree. Instead, Sam countered, "It's not that unhealthy. He isn't the only person who deals with his feelings that way. It's how soldiers are supposed to handle them, and it's one of the things that makes him a great commander."

Daniel pulled his hand away from Sam's. He blinked at her, not really believing his own ears. "Sam, do you really believe that?"

"Of course."

Daniel couldn't even begin to comprehend what he was hearing. The woman he'd once seen so torn up over both the mistreatment of a twelve year old girl and the lack of her own ability to express her feelings due to military standards actually envied the unhealthy ability to shut out emotions instead of resenting the insane system that valued that in its people. "Sam, Jack is a great leader and a great man for many reasons, but his worst quality is his continual denial of his emotions and his tendency to convince himself that he doesn't even feel."

Daniel had noticed Jack becoming more withdrawn and less emotional over the years, almost to the point of where he'd been before he opened up to Daniel and the Abydonians so many years ago. It had formed a rift in their friendship over the years that upset him to think about. With the animosity produced by that rift and distant memories of Jack's one-time eagerness for a suicide mission clearly on his mind, Daniel's words came out sharper than he'd intended. "That might make the military see Jack as a valuable asset, but it is not what makes him a good leader or a good man." The thought that Sam might find that quality in Jack appealing nearly infuriated him. His voice became bitter as he added without thinking, "And it sure as hell doesn't make him a good man for you."

Sam's back stiffened as she glared at him. Daniel had never spoken to her that way. With fire in her eyes, she demanded, "What the hell do you know about it?"

He leaned across the table and whispered with the intensity of passion and fury, "I know that you will never find what you're looking for in Jack O'Neill."

Sam slid her chair back, away from the force of Daniel's gaze. "I think that's for me to decide, not you," she spat out. He began to respond, but she abruptly stopped him. "I don't want to have this conversation with you, Daniel." She pushed her chair back further, stood, and walked out of the restaurant, leaving Daniel at the table alone.


	8. Chapter 8

Daniel quickly paid the check and made his way to find Sam. He'd meant what he'd said to her about Jack, but he'd had no place saying it the way he had. He was upset, and he had just blurted it out.

He was glad Sam had interrupted him. He'd been on the verge of telling her he would give her the love she sought, but now he realized how corny that would have sounded and how disastrously it could have turned out. That certainly wasn't the way he'd wanted to tell Sam about his feelings. And now, he really didn't want to at all, as he was nearly certain she did not reciprocate them.

As he came outside, he looked around, but saw no sign of Sam. He noticed a small path leading around the building and decided that she must have gone in that direction. A short distance down the path, he saw her sitting on a bench. Her back was to him, and she was staring at the mountains in the distance. His footsteps sounded against the rocks, and as he got closer, he saw her bring her hand to her face as though she were wiping her eyes. He stopped a few feet behind her. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."

She continued looking toward the mountains as she answered, "No, don't be. I shouldn't have yelled at you." She sighed heavily. "Hell, you're probably right anyway. I only got so upset because I know it's true. Do you know how many times I've tried to talk to him about my feelings just to have him shut me down?" She shook her head slowly. "I don't know why I keep going back. What makes me think things are ever going to change? I must be a glutton for punishment."

Daniel walked around the bench and took a seat next to her. "I know Jack cares about you, Sam. He probably even loves you. He would be a fool not to." He draped his arm across the bench behind her, offering support but careful not to push past her boundaries. "But, Sam, are you really in love with him?"

Sam didn't hesitate with her answer. "Of course, I love him."

"No, that wasn't what I asked. I love Jack. Teal'c loves Jack. Of course you love him, too. But are you in love with him? Do you love him so much that you're willing to leave Pete and give up your career to be with him?"

"Yes," she whispered. "If I thought he wanted to be with me, I would."

"Oh." That wasn't the answer he was expecting. He never thought Sam would be willing to give up her career for any man. In fact, when he considered the possibility of becoming involved with her, he always assumed that he would be the one who would transfer to another SG team to make it work. "Are you sure?" he asked. After the words came out, he realized how ridiculous they sounded.

Sam simply answered him as though she had been expecting the question. "I've thought about it so many times. At first the answer was no, but it grew to be yes."

Daniel knew that he would stop at nothing to be with a woman he loved if she loved him back. For him, even the fight against the Goa'uld came a near second to the chance to have closeness and a bond like he'd had with his late wife. If he had to choose between fighting for the galaxy and spending the rest of his life bringing joy to the woman he loved, he had to admit he might choose the latter. For Sam and Jack, though, the two were not mutually exclusive. There was more than one way to fight the evils of the galaxy. Why hadn't Sam simply chosen one of those options so that she would be free to be with Jack?

He leaned toward her and asked, "So why haven't you transferred or resigned?"

Sam stared at the ground. "He won't let me. Every time I go to him to confess how I feel, I know it could be the end of my career. I just don't care, but he never lets me say it."

Daniel would never expect Sam to let a man control her future that way. "Why do you let him do that? It's your career and your choice."

"He's just protecting me," she explained.

Sam didn't strike Daniel as a woman who needed protecting. Well, she hadn't until she'd revealed this mess with Jack. Now, he felt like he should be protecting Sam from what his friend was doing to her emotionally. If Jack knew about Sam's feelings, Daniel felt he owed it to her to either confirm his own or let her down gently. Leaving Sam figuratively flapping in the wind did not sit well with Daniel. It struck him as more of Jack's avoidance, which had once hurt him a great deal. If he could save Sam from that same kind of pain, he would. He determined to confront Jack about it later.

Sam sighed and a bitter smile worked its way across her lips. "That's how I know he loves me. . . because he protects me from myself." She sounded as though she were reciting a line that had once been carefully prepared and full of passion, but it was now growing old and tiresome, and the delivery lacked believability.

"So why don't you just put in your transfer, then talk to him? If that's why he's doing it, he won't have any reason to avoid the issue anymore."

She shook her head. "I can't. I've actually written one up and torn it to pieces. I got scared that maybe the reason he doesn't let me talk is because he knows what I'm going to say, but he doesn't feel the same, and he doesn't want to have to let me down."

Daniel nodded, fully understanding her fears, and wishing more than ever that Jack wasn't so closed off. Of course, Jack had always been more closed off to Sam than to him. As far as Daniel knew, they never talked about his ex-wife, his son, or anything else the way Jack used to with Daniel. So what had interested Sam in the first place?

"Why him?" Daniel asked.

Sam lifted her head in his direction without really looking at him. "What?"

"Why are you in love with Jack?" What he really wanted to ask was 'What does he have that I don't?'

Her chin dropped as she answered, "He's everything I can never be."

"Oh." Daniel nodded in understanding. She'd more than answered his unasked question. Minus the attitude, Jack was a poster child for the military, always thinking about the strategic advantages before the ethical dilemmas. He was the action hero of the group, the decision maker, the alpha male. In a military family, Sam had grown up seeing those qualities as the ideal. Where Jack was a 'kick ass and ask questions later' man, Daniel was a 'get all sides of the story before coming to an informed decision' guy. Of course she would want a man like Jack; Daniel had been a fool to think otherwise.

Even though it often irritated the hell out of him, Daniel respected Jack for his decisiveness and his ability to tactically evaluate a situation. Because of his job, Daniel knew Jack had to be that way, but Daniel had never wanted to be like that. He could possibly take on those qualities if he put his mind to it, if he blocked out his feelings and his heart the way Jack did. Yet he wouldn't ever try to change in that way, not even to be with Sam. In his core, he would always choose to keep the mentality he held dear no matter how many times he went into battle or how skilled he became with a sidearm.

As Daniel came out of his thoughts, he realized neither of them had spoken for several minutes. He broke the silence by asking, "So what are you going to do?"

Sam looked at him for the first time since he'd joined her outside. "I still don't know."

"Sam, I don't mean to be blunt, but why not? I've never known you to be an indecisive person."

She sighed. "This is a lot harder than running an analysis or computer simulation then coming up with a decision based on the data, Daniel. The truth is I've been indecisive and have avoided all real relationships for years, practically as far back as I can remember. I even did it when I broke off my engagement to Jonas. I know that was the right thing to do, but I don't think I did it for the right reason. I wasn't really running from the type of guy he was as much as the commitment itself. Then there was Narim, Martouf, Orlin. . . I cared about all of them, but I never did anything about it. It was obvious how much they loved me, and I was close to them all. Hell, I kissed Narim, but I just pushed that aside like it'd never happened. We were never anything more than friends." Sam absent-mindedly kicked a pebble near her foot. "I held every man I cared about at a distance. I wouldn't let them be anything more than a friend."

Daniel wondered briefly whether she might be including him in that group, then he put the thought out of his mind. He had to forget about his selfish desire to be with her and focus on supporting her and being there for her.

He took the thoughts she'd expressed to the next logical place. "Except Jack. You knew he cared about you, but he never came on too strong like they did. And he was always out of reach. There was no real chance of a serious relationship."

"Pretty much. I realized that in a vision I had when I was stuck on the Prometheus." Daniel looked at her quizzically, and she elaborated. "I didn't exactly include everything that happened in my report. I did say I was seeing things. . ." Sam didn't finish her sentence.

After a few seconds, Daniel finished for her. "And Janet said it was probably because of your concussion."

Sam nodded. "I only told everyone about the little girl."

Daniel didn't understand how this related to Jack, but he knew she'd expressed concern about the hallucinations after she'd returned from the trip. She'd told him and Teal'c she had been worried she might've been cracking up. She also seemed worried that other people might think so as well. He assured her once again, "Sam, we still don't know if that girl was a hallucination or a manifestation of the cloud or even a representative of the aliens who were trapped there with--"

"Yes, but I didn't tell you everything. She wasn't the only person I saw, and I know for sure the rest were hallucinations." She looked at the ground and bit her lip. "I saw you, Jack, Teal'c, and my dad too." Sam met his eyes as she finished, "I had conversations with all of you."

"Why didn't you say anything before?" he asked.

"It wasn't important to the mission report. I reported the one hallucination, and that seemed good enough. I didn't really want to have to tell anyone what I talked about with the others. It was mostly personal stuff."

"Oh. So the visions helped you sort out your feelings for Jack?"

"Yeah." She sighed. "The Jack my mind created flat out told me that I was just using him as a safe bet. And my dad told me I should let him go. Or more specifically, let go of what was making me unhappy." She kicked another pebble. "That's why I started dating Pete."

Daniel wrinkled his brow. "So if you've done everything the visions told you to, why are you--"

Sam cut him off. "Because I realized that I was wrong. I did everything I thought I should, but I'm no happier than I was before. I misunderstood what they were saying to me on the Prometheus. My father wasn't telling me to let go of Jack. He was telling me to let go of the military and SG-1, because they were keeping me from him, from being happy. And the most important thing that Jack told me was that he'd always be there for me no matter what. And it's true. He will. That's what would make me happy. It _has_ to be."

The desperation in her last words was almost painful to hear. "Sam. . ." He didn't exactly know how to put this. Everything he knew about Sam told him that that statement was wrong. What she'd said about Jack being her security blanket made complete sense to him. He couldn't fathom the concept of Sam giving up her career, her life, for any man. And while he was certain that Jack would always be there for her, he knew it wouldn't be in the way she needed, that anyone needed from a lover. Jack had long ago closed himself off to that kind of intimacy. "Did you hear what you just said?"

She looked at him with confusion written across her features. "What do you mean?"

Daniel sighed. "Never mind." If she didn't realize it on her own, there was no way he was going to convince her to see it. Trying to do so would only end in an argument and hurt feelings.

"No, tell me," she prodded.

"Really, it's nothing. Forget it."

They sat in silence until Sam finally spoke, "I'm going to break it off with Pete."

Daniel nodded, thinking she'd probably made the right decision. "So do you plan to tell Jack how you feel?"

"I don't know yet. If I do, I'll have to transfer or resign and work at the SGC as a civilian. There's no way I could stay working there with my feelings for the General out in the open. It'd put both of us at risk for a court martial."

"And you're prepared to do that? To give up command of SG-1?"

Sam shrugged. "That's the part I'm not sure about. There are times when I'd gladly give it up, but then there are times when I think about how much I could lose. Not just my rank, but the opportunity to go through the Stargate, fight the Goa'uld, discover technology, and learn things I could only _dream_ about without the 'gate." Her enthusiasm and passion were so obvious in her eyes that Daniel couldn't believe Sam would ever consider the possibility that the Stargate and the SGC were getting in the way of her happiness. A frown came over Sam's lips as she continued, "Plus, I'd have to give up our team. If we weren't all on SG-1, who knows how often I'd see you and Teal'c. I just don't want to give that up, but. . ."

Up until the 'but', she had sounded like the Sam he'd grown to know and love. He wasn't sure how much more he could handle hearing Sam talk about how much she loved Jack, even at the expense of her own passions. He removed his arm from behind her shoulders and asked, "You want to go for a walk?"

She looked at him for a long moment, as though trying to find an answer to an unknown question in his face. Finally, she responded, "Sure."


	9. Chapter 9

Daniel had deliberately changed the subject again. Sam knew he'd done it earlier, but she couldn't remember what they'd been talking about at the time. She studied his face, trying to recall. For some reason, she felt like it was something very important, something she really ought to know.

They stood and began walking in silence as Sam tried to remember what she'd forgotten. Looking at the cobblestone path beneath her feet, she noticed it was very well kept, not an unsightly weed or upturned stone in sight. Though it seemed to wander off to nowhere, she decided the inn must use it regularly. _Maybe for weddings,_ she guessed. Further ahead, they'd probably find a clearing with a trellis where couples could exchange vows. She had to admit, it was very elegant and romantic, and the trees and flowers made it a beautiful location, especially on a warm evening like this. She could imagine herself getting married here. That is, if she ever actually got married.

Still on the wedding planning track, she found her mind wondering what color scheme the blossoms might best correspond. In the dim light, she couldn't quite make out their hue, but they looked like they could be white or pink. Reminding herself that she no longer had to worry about this kind of thing, she inhaled deeply, and found that she couldn't catch even a hint of their fragrance.

Daniel turned his head at her change in breathing. "The flowers. I can't smell them," she explained. He nodded then turned to pluck one. He held it out to her. She leaned in and inhaled deeply once again. This time, the sweet smell filled her nostrils. With a smile, she took it from him. "Thanks."

Only one corner of his mouth turned upward, then he continued down the path without saying a word.

Looking at her flower, Sam could see the outer petals were soft yellow, the inner bright red, swirling together into a vibrant orange. As though it had telepathically given her the answer, Sam found the revelation she'd sought. _His date! We were talking about why he canceled his date._ She bit her lip as she wondered how to broach the subject again. When she looked toward Daniel, she realized he had already walked several feet away. Surprised, she hurried to catch up with him.

Placing her hand on his arm she asked, "Daniel, is something wrong?"

He kept walking without looking at her. "What makes you think that?"

"Because you're acting. . . strange."

He shook his head. "It's nothing I want to talk about."

"Come on, Daniel. You can talk to me." Sam suspected this might have something to do with his cancelled date, and she felt guilty for not trying harder to talk to him about it earlier. She'd been going on and on about her love life when Daniel clearly had some problems of his own in that area. "You've been here for me tonight; let me do the same for you."

Daniel stopped and cocked his head to the side. He looked at her for a very long time, his eyes boring into hers. It felt as though he were studying her intensely. She shifted uncomfortably, and he finally answered, "Thanks for offering, but it's really nothing you can help with."

"Oh." She cast her eyes to the ground, disappointed and hurt that he wouldn't confide in her, but still determined to be there for him if he asked. "Well, if you change your mind, I'm here." She rubbed his arm to emphasize the sentiment. Thinking that maybe a long walk would cheer him up, Sam looked down the path and said, "I wonder how far this goes." She tried her best to make out where it stopped, but it seemed to go on for quite some distance. She smiled at him and asked, "You want to follow it to the end?"

He managed a smile. "I've got nothing better to do."

She grinned back and placed her arm in his as they continued walking.

The sun had set long ago, and they were guided only by the dim lamps every couple hundred feet. Within a short distance, they spotted the trellis Sam suspected they'd find. A few times, they passed a bench, but they never stopped -- except when Daniel would spot a new kind of flower he'd pick for Sam. After about fifteen minutes, she'd acquired quite a decent sized bouquet, and Daniel's mood had improved dramatically.

They soon found themselves at a clearing with a large fountain. Daniel approached and stretched to stick his palm into the streams of water. He smiled at the feel of it splashing over his skin. "I've always loved water," he said. Sam wasn't sure if he was speaking to himself or to her. "It's so calming and soothing but also very dangerous." She perched on the stone ledge surrounding the fountain and ran her hand across the surface. As she did so, he turned to face her with an intense gaze. "It reminds me of you."

Her breath caught in her throat and she nearly lost her balance. "Oh?" she managed to mutter.

He smiled warmly at her. "Beautiful but deadly."

Sam's chest tightened and tears threatened the surface of her eyes, yet she couldn't keep the smile from her face. It was the most amazing feeling she'd ever experienced. It was also confusing as hell. Why would such a simple compliment from Daniel make her feel this way?

Daniel stepped closer and touched her shoulder. "Sam?"

She nodded and assured, "I'm fine. I just got a little light-headed." She smiled. "Must be the wine."

He lightly rubbed her shoulder before he let his hand drop. Sam stood and took a few steps away, seeking some Daniel-free space to clear her head.

"Maybe we should make a wish," Daniel suggested.

Sam turned back and saw him looking at the bottom of the fountain, which was littered with coins. "Hmm. . ." Sam grimaced as she came up behind him. "I don't really believe in that superstitious stuff. Do you?"

"Well, superstition plays a large roll in a lot of cultures. Maybe it's not such a load of bunk." She looked at him critically, and he admitted. "No, I don't really believe in it." He shrugged and his eyebrows shot upward. "But I thought it might be fun."

"Fun?" Sam had to smile at Daniel's idea of entertainment. "Throwing coins into a fountain doesn't exactly seem like my idea of a good time." She reclaimed her seat on the edge. "Besides, I don't think you should waste the twenty-five cents."

He slid next her, purposefully bumping against her shoulder. "Come on, you don't think the possibility of having your wish come true is worth twenty-five cents? What else are you going to get for a quarter?"

If Sam threw in a coin, she knew what she'd wish for: Jack. She liked to think she wasn't so far gone that she would do something she found so ridiculously desperate as to rely on superstition. Sam leaned into him, pushing his weight back as though she were pushing back his arguments. "I'll buy some gum or one of those cheap plastic rings you get out of the machines at the grocery store. At least I know I'm getting something."

He stood and faced her. "Aww. . . come on. Where's your adventurous spirit? Your inner child?" He reached into his pocket and fished for a coin. "It's just a quarter." He finally pulled one out and held it out, ready to toss it in. "Make a wish with me."

Sam jumped to her feet and grabbed his hand, enveloping the coin. "Stop being ridiculous. It's not going to come true."

"It might."

"It won't."

"So?" Daniel challenged.

Sam pleaded, "Can we just forget it and go?"

"Yeah," he answered, lowering his hand and putting the coin back in his pocket. "Are you sure you're okay?"

Sam plastered a smile to her face, but as she met Daniel's eyes, she found she didn't have to fake it as much as she thought she would. In fact, she almost beamed. "Yes, I'm great, actually. Now can we go?"

"Sure," he responded. Sam began to walk away but stopped when she heard him say, "But I'm going to throw something into that fountain, and if it's not a quarter, it's gonna be you."

Sam spun back to face him, her jaw nearly hitting the ground. With a daring smile and a hand on her hip, she challenged, "I'd like to see you try."

He shrugged and grinned as he took a step toward her. "Fair enough."

For an instant, Sam was stunned that Daniel was going to follow through on his threat. She had expected to call his bluff, but as Daniel came closer, Sam's brain began to run through the possibilities for counterattack. They were quite limited by both her attire and the fact that she didn't want to _actually_ hurt Daniel. "No, no, no, no, Daniel." she argued as she backed away. She dodged and managed to evade him temporarily, laughing while using her bouquet to fend him off. Her footwear turned out to be her downfall, and he quickly found an opening, which allowed him to scoop her up.

"Daniel, that's not fair. I'm wearing heels!" He didn't answer, and just kept walking toward the fountain. "If I go in, you're coming with me." He still didn't answer, and she began clubbing him with her flowers. Finding it useless, she tossed them to the ground. "Come on. Put me down!"

Daniel grinned. "Don't worry. I will."

Sam gasped in disbelief. Daniel was the last person she'd expect this from. "No, Daniel," came Sam's stern reply. "If you put me in that fountain, I _will_ hurt you when I get out."

"There's no point in making threats," he answered, trying to keep his grip as she squirmed in his arms.

Sam decided to switch to a new tactic: flattery and distraction. She deliberately batted her eyelashes at him and tried out her best coy smile, though it came out looking rather goofy. "Daniel, have you been working out lately?"

He laughed, "You know I have. You were in the gym with me on Monday, but that isn't going to get you out of this."

Along the way, Sam's flailing limbs made her shoes fly to the ground. He carefully avoided them as he approached the fountain. Then he lowered her over the edge toward the water, making sure she was in just far enough that she couldn't get the leverage to stand up. If he let her go, she would tumble backward into the water. He leaned over her, smiling wickedly. "You're right. Throwing coins in a fountain isn't any fun. This is much better."

Sam turned to pleading. Up to this point, she was certain Daniel would never drop her in. Now, she wasn't so sure. "Daniel, don't. Please. I'm sorry I said it wasn't any fun."

His eyes glittered and his smile would have melted an angry System Lord. Sam couldn't stop herself from smiling back. "Are you really?" he asked.

Now, Sam knew once again that he would never let her fall. But that didn't mean she wasn't thinking of ways to get him back for this. She knew that if she shifted her weight just right, she would go under, pulling Daniel along with her. She didn't do it, though. After all, she really didn't want to get herself wet. She also had a small feeling that she wouldn't forgive herself if she made Daniel let her go. It felt good having him this close. For some unexplainable reason, she liked the feel of his hands on her body, of his body against hers. She hadn't realized it until this moment, but she'd missed the comfort of his touch. She'd never admit it to herself, in fact, she'd deliberately dismiss it as simple nervousness, but her body tingled with anticipation that he might kiss her. "Yes," she whispered.

"Hmm. . ." He looked into her eyes, licking his lips in mock concentration.

Sam's mind worked overtime to try to form a logical explanation for why this simple gesture was sending fire and ice impulses up her spine and down to places she didn't want to think about, couldn't think about. This was Daniel, after all. So why was she on the verge of pulling his lips to hers and sending them both tumbling into the cool water with their bodies tangled together?

He continued to hold her close, with that dangerous look in his eyes. Then, to her great displeasure, he shrugged and said, "Well, since you asked nicely." He then pulled her up so that she was safely sitting in front of him on the ledge.

Feeling unexplainably stunned and hurt, Sam pushed him away with both hands. "I should have kicked your ass when I had the chance."

"Luckily for me, you didn't," he answered as he took a seat next to her and grinned nervously.

A smile slowly slid over Sam's face, and unfortunately for Daniel, he missed the wicked glint in her eye. "You're damn right you are. Of course, now I'm forced to do _this_," she responded as she pushed him backward.

There was no time to react, and before Daniel knew it, he was soaked and being pummeled by streams of water. He flailed around for a few seconds until he finally grabbed the edge. Pulling himself onto his knees, he pushed his hair back from his now water-spotted glasses and gaped at her in shock. "I can't believe you just did that."

Daniel looked like a drowning fish, and Sam suppressed her fit of giggles long enough to say, "Oops."

Daniel tried to muster his best mock-threatening tone. "That's it. No more Mr. Nice Danny. You're gonna pay for that."

Sam only laughed harder at Daniel's failed attempt at a threat. He came off far too adorable to be intimidating. She did feel a pang of guilt for throwing him in, but she couldn't stop her giggles. It was simply too funny.

As Daniel climbed out of the fountain, Sam knew there was a chance she'd end up in it very soon if she stuck around. Spinning on her heels, she high-tailed it out of there. "Not if you can't catch me," she called back.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Having extracted himself from the water, Daniel sat on the fountain's edge, looking down at his wet clothing and wondering how he was going to dry his glasses. Realizing that it was pointless, he slid them into his pocket. He shook the water from his hair as he laughed at the unusual turn the evening had taken. He hadn't expected to be thrown into a fountain, and he certainly hadn't expected to spend any portion of his night chasing down Sam Carter.

He couldn't explain what had made him start the whole thing. Now that he'd done it, he was actually a bit embarrassed. Maybe it was the wine, or maybe it was the spark of something in her eyes that'd made him go just a bit more 'alpha male' than he was ordinarily comfortable with. Maybe it was both.

He really hadn't intended to follow through with his threat to throw Sam in. He wasn't even going to pretend. He was only joking, but when she'd turned around, hand on her hip with that smile on her face, all he'd wanted to do was kiss her and be close to her. That was out of the question, so he'd settled for the closest he could get. He hadn't even stopped to think about it.

Daniel took off his jacket and attempted to wring the water out. He couldn't believe Sam had pushed him in. After all, he never had any intention of actually throwing her into the water. He never would have gone that far. While the idea of wet, scantily clad Sam appealed to him, he didn't want to have to face her wrath after he'd done it. He wasn't sure exactly how many ways she knew how to render a man unconscious, but he was sure he didn't want to find any out firsthand.

He was just glad his little stunt hadn't upset her. He'd joked and played around with her in the past, but never like this. He'd felt like he might have crossed a line, and he was relieved when he'd seen her laugh. At that point, he was glad he'd done it, because her laughter was a welcome change from the somber expression she'd worn most of the night.

As he continued to shake the water from his clothes, he spotted her shoes still lying where they'd fallen. Realizing that he wasn't even going to get anywhere close to dry, he picked up the shoes and jogged after her. After all, he couldn't just let her get away with this.

Within a short distance, Sam came into sight. She'd slowed her pace to a walk, and hearing footsteps, she turned back to see him coming and increased her pace.

"Oh, no you don't," Daniel called out as he sped up to catch her. "You're not getting away that easily."

Sam's bare feet allowed Daniel to catch up quickly. As he closed in, he tossed his jacket and her shoes aside, and threw his arms around her, lifting her off the ground. His momentum carried him forward, and he spun around so his back would hit the tree directly ahead of him and stop his forward motion. He hit with a thud, but not so hard it caused more than a fleeting bit of pain.

Caught in his grasp, Sam turned to face him, laughing and breathing heavily. "We're much too old for this," she declared. With his arms around her, and their chests rising and falling rapidly as one, he joined in her laughter. He leaned his head against the tree, allowing himself to catch his breath while Sam rested her head against his shoulder.

A few seconds later, Sam's breathing slowed, and she lifted her head to face him. "I'm sorry I pushed you in."

He chuckled. "Don't be. I was asking for it."

"You sure were," she agreed as she smoothed his still damp and disheveled hair. She then moved to straighten the collar of his shirt. "You're really soaked," she observed.

"So are you," he noted, glancing downward to where her body was pressed against his.

She followed his gaze to see the newly dampened fabric of her dress, then smiled and met his eyes. "It's okay. I deserve it."

Daniel pulled her tighter against him, causing more of the liquid that permeated his clothing to soak into hers. She laughed as she felt the cool water soak through her dress, down to her skin. Her laughter vibrated through her body, its ripples finding their way to Daniel.

Without taking time to consider the repercussions, Daniel reached up to caress her cheek. At his touch, he saw her gaze dart downward and she bit her lip nervously. He tilted her chin upward then threaded his fingers through her hair. Her smile still lingered as she once again met his eyes. Daniel could feel her hand sliding up his shoulder to snake around his neck, and without waiting for further invitation, he closed the distance to her lips.


	10. Chapter 10

As Sam pulled away from the kiss, her eyes fluttered open. Daniel smiled at her, and she smiled back. Then, as though struck by a bolt of lightning, she realized what had just happened. She'd done it again! She immediately jumped out of Daniel's arms and sought to put a great distance between them. Pacing on the opposite side of the path, she exclaimed, "I'm sorry. I don't know what just happened. It was. . . It. . . It was. . ."

"It was a product of the moment," Daniel finished for her, looking rather embarrassed.

She pointed at him like he was a game show winner. "Exactly! A product of the moment."

"We should probably just forget about it."

She nodded vigorously. "Yeah." Relief washed over her. She was glad Daniel possessed the sense that she apparently didn't at the moment.

Daniel retrieved his jacket and Sam's shoes then joined her on the path. As he offered her the shoes, Sam shook her head slowly with a crooked smile on her lips.

"What?" he asked.

"Nothing. I was just thinking. . . ." She took the heels from him, placed them on the ground, and stepped into them, gripping his shoulder to keep her balance. "For being in love with Jack O'Neill, I certainly am kissing you a lot."

"Oh." Daniel looked at the ground as he fidgeted with his pockets. Eventually he added, "I'm sorry. It's my fault really."

"Huh? How?"

"I kissed you."

"Yeah, but I kissed you, too."

"No, I mean, I'm the one who kissed you."

"What? No, I kissed you. Both times."

He shook his head, and answered with a long, drawn-out, "No."

Her face scrunched in confusion. "Yes, I did."

Daniel cocked his head to the side. His words were drawn out again as he repeated, "No, you didn't."

"Really, I did." She was still bewildered by why he would think otherwise when a thought hit her. "Is this one of those macho things where you're afraid to admit that the girl made the first move? Because I didn't think you were that type of guy, Daniel."

He chuckled at the idea. "No, this isn't some macho thing. I'll admit, I wasn't sure at first, but I'm certain now that I was the one at fault both times."

"Okay. Fine," she conceded as she resumed walking. "You started it. _You_ kissed _me_."

"Thank you," he responded as he followed.

"Even if you didn't," Sam muttered.

"Hey! I heard that."

Sam played innocent. "Heard what? I didn't hear anything."

He glared at her and threatened, "You know there's still that fountain back there. . . ."

She held up her hands to ward him off. "Okay, okay. I give up. You're right. You win."

"Thank you," he repeated.

"I can't believe I let you get me over that fountain anyway. I definitely should have been able to take you."

"Hey, I'm not some wimp, you know."

Though he didn't sound hurt by the comment, Sam felt stupid for saying it without realizing he would take it the way he had. She knew his physical abilities had always been a sore spot for Daniel, especially as he found himself surrounded by skilled Air Force officers and Marines each day. It was as though Daniel wanted to fit in with the guys, but he didn't really want to be one of them. She had even wondered if his recent enthusiasm for weightlifting might be a result of that. "I know you're not. You never were. I just meant that I was bested by a civilian. I should really be ashamed of myself." After a short pause, she muttered, "And I fought like a girl."

Chuckling, he assured her, "Don't worry. I won't tell anyone. And I know you could have kicked my ass. Why do you think I didn't throw you in?"

"Yeah, right. You weren't afraid of what I'd do to you. You're just too much of a nice guy. I never believed you'd actually do it. Though I'll admit, for a second there, when I was dangling over the water, I thought you might."

"Sorry. Didn't mean to scare you."

Sam laughed and accused, "Yes, you did."

A guilty smile crossed Daniel's lips. "Okay. Maybe I did a little." He cast an accusing glare her way. "But at least I didn't push you in."

"Oh, come on. I apologized for that already. Are you going to hold it over my head forever?"

"Not sure. Maybe just a little while longer." Sam looked at him with pleading blue eyes, and he immediately caved. "Okay. I forgive you, and I won't mention it again." He shook his head. "I'm never going to win with you am I? Not when you can just give me those puppy dog eyes."

"You won just a few minutes ago," she argued.

"Figure of speech."

"Well we're even now."

His brow wrinkled. "What?"

"You won one, and I won one." She stopped and offered her hand to him as she finished. "We're even."

"Agreed," he responded as he met her hand with a friendly shake.

Sam used the connection to pull Daniel to her then wrapped her arms around him in a hug. "Thank you."

"For what?" he asked as he brought his arms around her back.

"Being such a great friend."

"I wouldn't have it any other way," Daniel said as he rubbed his hands up and down her back.

Sam closed her eyes and rested her head against his, cheek to cheek. They remained that way for several minutes before Sam spoke softly. "This is nice."

"Yeah," Daniel whispered, stroking her hair.

Sam laid her head on his shoulder, and several more minutes passed before she spoke again. "I'm sorry I avoided you this week. I don't know why I did it. I just felt so strange around you after what happened. I can't explain it, and there's no excuse for it."

"It's understandable. Don't worry about it."

Sam squeezed Daniel tighter then pulled back to look at him. "I'm glad you convinced me to come out tonight."

Tucking her hair behind her ear, he answered, "I'm glad you decided to come."

"Really, I've had a great time. This is so much better than the night I would've had otherwise." Sam stepped away from him as she admitted, "I spent last night and most of today making myself miserable and doing all these ridiculous little things trying to figure out what I should do about this whole situation."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. You'll never believe the things I did. I'm almost ashamed to admit them." A short burst of laughter escaped before she continued, "I took some really. . . 'insightful' online quizzes from _Cosmo_. Let's see. There was. . ." She looked up at the sky, trying to recall the titles. "_Are you a player?_." Looking back at him, she added, "Turns out I'm just a savvy dater, but at the moment I have a few arguments with that analysis. Then there was _Are you ready to settle down?_, _Are you in love or forcing it?_, and my personal favorite: _Is he relationship ready?_" After a few seconds, she decided to clarify the last one. "I took that one about Jack. He came out as a 'Ditchable Dude'."

Daniel looked at her with confusion. "Sam, what's wrong with taking some quizzes?"

"Those are cute and fun to do, Daniel, but they're not exactly deep and revealing. I shouldn't be trying to make my life's decisions based on what some magazine tells me to do."

"I don't think it's that bad. There are probably plenty of women who use them."

"Well, I don't want to be one of those women. I'm nearly 40 years old. I should know enough about relationships by now that I wouldn't even seriously consider taking one of those things."

"Sam. . ." Daniel tried to argue, but she didn't let him.

Sam nearly laughed at the absurdity. "I think I hit rock bottom when I took a quiz in the 'Seventeen Magazine' Cassie left at my house." She shook her head and a deep frown creased her forehead. "None of them told me anything I didn't already know. . ." Her voice took on a bitter tone as she added, "if I weren't too damned stubborn and thickheaded to accept it."

Daniel opened his mouth again to argue. Sam knew he was going to object to the name-calling she'd directed at herself, but she didn't want to hear it. She stopped him with a wave of her hand. The truth had been echoing in her head for days, years if she really wanted to admit it to herself, and all that time, she'd found reasons to contradict and justify everything. "I just kept making excuses. If I gave it a few years, Jack would come around. His feelings were just as strong as mine, but he was protecting my career. Eventually he would retire so we could be together. Or maybe I could resign or transfer out of his command. I told myself I really wasn't violating the regulations if we hadn't acted on our feelings yet. If I was just patient, it would all turn out to be a 'happily ever after', and I would have the man I'd been waiting for." She sighed and her shoulders slumped forward. "They all sound so hollow and artificial when I say them out loud."

She would always love Jack O'Neill and hold a soft spot in her heart for him, but there was no point in continuing to pursue a fantasy that wouldn't and couldn't come true. Now that she'd finally begun to accept she'd been lying to herself and she and Jack were not destined to be together, she didn't need someone putting her mind at ease no matter how much it hurt. She needed tough love even if she could only get it from herself. "I feel like an idiot for not seeing it years ago." She looked at the ground and closed her eyes to brace herself as she admitted aloud for the first time, "Jack and I are never going to be together."

Daniel stepped closer, silently offering his support and waiting to find out if she had more to get off her chest.

She'd expected to feel overwhelming sorrow, to be crying her eyes out after speaking those words, but now that she had, it just wasn't there. Of course, she felt a deep loss and an extreme sadness, but it was overshadowed by the feeling that an overwhelming weight had been lifted. If she'd known speaking to a friend about her feelings would have made them so much easier to deal with, she never would have kept them bottled inside all these years. She stepped closer to Daniel and smiled at him. "I just realized that I should have stopped being so stubborn and pigheaded and just talked to my friends about this a long time ago."

"I can't argue with that," he said as he brushed the hair away from her eyes. "Well, most of it. I might have some qualms about the part where you called yourself pigheaded."

Sam leaned in and kissed him chastely on the lips. "Thanks."

Daniel placed his arm around her shoulders, and smiling broadly, she slipped hers around his waist. She rested her head on his shoulder, taking comfort in his warmth and his familiar presence. She inhaled deeply, taking in the fresh night air and realized that she could now smell the sweet fragrance of the flowers that surrounded them. She could also smell Daniel's cologne, or aftershave, or soap. . . whatever it was that made him smell distinctly like Daniel. She'd had eight, make that seven, years to familiarize herself with it. She closed her eyes and just breathed in, reveling in the relaxing scent of flowers and a good friend.

Continuing on their walk, Sam began to wonder if they might be somewhere near the end of the path. She'd noticed some time ago that it seemed to be curving back in the direction it had begun. Any time now she thought they might be arriving back at the restaurant. . . and she dreaded it. She didn't know whether it was the weight that had lifted off her chest, the fresh night air, or the presence of a good friend that did it, but she felt more content and at peace than she could ever remember. This wasn't something she wanted to give up willingly.

Spotting another bench a short distance ahead, she asked, "Mind if we sit down? My feet are killing me." In truth, her feet were a little sore. High heels weren't the best choice for walking shoes.

"Sure."

Sam collapsed on the bench, kicked off her shoes and tilted her head back to look up at the stars. As Daniel sat next to her, he requested, "Give me your feet."

Turning her head to him, she questioned, "What? Why?"

He gave her a piercing look. "Just give me your feet," he repeated.

Sighing, she turned and placed her feet in his lap. He then proceeded to take them in his hands and knead the soreness away. She let out a moan before saying, "I could get used to this." _Maybe I should date Daniel,_ she joked to herself. The idea brought back a memory from last night. She laughed at the thought.

"What?" Daniel asked.

"Oh, I was just thinking about this word association thing I tried last night. It was completely absurd. You'll never guess what my great revelation was."

"Oh? What?"

"Well, if I didn't know better, I'd think I was in love with you. Isn't that crazy?"

She expected him to laugh and agree, but he didn't. He just looked at her, furrowed his brow and eventually asked, "What's so crazy about it?"

Sam felt like a deer caught in headlights. "Well, it's just that. . . we're like . . ." She started to say 'siblings', but realized they'd already had that discussion earlier, and he'd been right. She really didn't think of him like a brother, but a really, really close friend. "No, it's that I . . . um . . . " This time, she was going to say, 'I care about you too much as a friend,' but as Sam began to speak the words, she realized she couldn't finish. She knew that was just the way women politely turned down men whom they weren't attracted to. Though she'd told herself an untold number of times that she wasn't attracted to Daniel, she couldn't actually say it out loud. Something in the back of her mind told her it didn't apply to the way she felt about him. If she weren't at least slightly attracted to Daniel, she wouldn't occasionally find herself admiring his physique, and she wouldn't have thrown herself at him _twice_ nor felt that intoxicating, tingling sensation she'd convinced herself to ignore both times. _People don't kiss like that when they're not attracted to the other person,_ she begrudgingly admitted to herself.

So, if she was attracted to him, why was it crazy that she might be in love with him? What would be so crazy about falling for a man who was attractive, attentive, supportive, thoughtful, gave great foot rubs, and made her feel more at ease and happier than she'd ever felt, while at the same time, made her body tingle?

Sam froze. _Holy shit!_ Was she in love with Daniel?

Her father's face flashed before her eyes. "For as long as she was alive, your mother showed me a world beyond just ambition and career. She gave my life meaning and balance. . . . That is love. . . . It's time to let go of the things that prevent you from finding happiness. You deserve to love someone and be loved in return." It now seemed alarmingly clear. She'd gotten it right the first time: Jack was her safety net, protecting her from the danger of actually falling . . . and actually experiencing happiness.

She just hadn't fully understood the message, and that's why things had gone so wrong. She'd mistakenly sought out a relationship with anyone who wasn't Jack. She'd thrown herself into it without looking back and without considering other options. It was either Pete or Jack. Though Pete was a wonderful man, she had begun to doubt whether he was the right man for her, whether life with him would leave her simply content instead of happy. That was the very thing she was trying to avoid, and so it had left only Jack. She'd never stopped to consider that the right man might be someone else entirely, someone like Daniel, the man who truly did make her happy.

"For as long as she was alive, your mother showed me a world beyond just ambition and career. She gave my life meaning and balance. . . . That is love. . . ." The words still echoed in her head. Her father, or rather, her own mind in the form of her father, had been talking about Daniel. He was her balance. Before she'd met him, life had been all about the military and science. He'd taught her to truly see the world as more than that. Why hadn't it been clear to her before now?

More importantly, how did he feel about her? He obviously cared for her a great deal, but did he feel the same way? Had he felt the same pulse-racing, nerve-crackling sensation course through his body when they'd kissed?

She remembered the look in his eyes the first time it'd happened. At the time, she hadn't stopped to think about what it meant, and she had thought she'd never seen it before. Then she had seen it again before he'd kissed her tonight. Now, seeing him in a new light, she realized she'd seen that look many times before. It'd been there in glimpses when she'd turn and catch him looking at her, thinking she wouldn't notice. It was always there right before he quickly looked away. It was a look of desire, not simply lustful desire, but admiration and love. Then there was the overwhelming fact that he had always been a willing participant in their kisses, an incredibly passionate, willing participant.

"Sam?" Daniel gently shook her shoulder. "Sam?" Pulled out of her musings, she looked up at him. Concern was written across his face as he asked, "Are you okay?"

She nodded. "Yes. Yes, I am." Then smiling brightly, she added, "Better than ever."

"Good. You had me worried there. Listen, I'm sorry I asked you that. I didn't mean anything by it, and I wasn't trying to upset you."

"I love you, Daniel," she blurted out.

Caught by surprise, he obviously misunderstood her meaning. His voice was riddled with confusion as he replied, "I love you too."

She shook her head, intending to set him straight. "No, Daniel." She slid her legs off his lap and drew them under herself. Still facing him, she reached out to run her fingertips down his cheek to his jaw. Then she leaned in and brought her lips to meet his, starting with a feather-light brush then going back for a more intense caress. He hesitated for a moment before he pulled her closer and returned the sentiment with all the fervor with which it had been given. Minutes later as she pulled away, Sam finished, "I love you."

"Wow," was all he managed to say. He stared at her in shock, searching her face intensely. It took only seconds to find what he was looking for. "I love you, Sam," he declared as he pulled her lips back to his.


	11. Chapter 11

Daniel's fingers toyed with the soft, short locks at the nape of Sam's neck as he gently kissed her lips. Pulling back, he looked into her eyes and sought an explanation for the unexpected, yet pleasant turn of events. "Sam, not that I don't find this completely wonderful in a dream come true sort of way, but. . ."

As usual, Sam knew what he was going to ask. "You want to know where my sudden change of heart came from and to be sure that my feelings won't change in the light of day."

"Well. . . yes," he responded, a bit hesitant.

Sam smiled reassuringly. "You know, it's funny how a lifetime of hiding your emotions can make you not understand what you really feel. Remember when I told you that I'd kissed you to take my mind off my problems with Jack and Pete?"

His eyes darted away as he answered, "Yeah." Someone who didn't know him as well wouldn't have noticed the slightly pained undertone in his response. It tore at Sam's heart to know she had caused it.

Sam stroked his cheek and made certain that he saw the sincerity in her eyes. "It was stupid of me to say that. I just realized I wasn't using you like I thought. I've never done anything like that before, and I don't know why I thought I would have with you. I was so wrong when I said that, and if I had known how you. . ." She bit her lip hard, fighting back the swell of emotions as she realized how much she must have hurt Daniel. "If I had known how you felt, I never would have. I am so sorry."

He enveloped her in a hug, comfortingly stroking her hair. "It's okay. You didn't know."

Speaking into his neck, Sam finished what she'd begun to say. "I'm so sorry I didn't think about your feelings. I should have realized. . . . Maybe I did and was just so determined to deny my feelings for you that I didn't want to accept yours. I ignored the way I felt and the way that _you_ made me feel. When I kissed you, Pete and Jack didn't even cross my mind. All I thought about was you." Sam swallowed hard then pulled back to look into Daniel's eyes and declared, "I need to know that you understand what I said then was wrong. Hell, everything I've said before ten minutes ago was wrong. I love you. I love you as my best friend and much more, and I'll love you just as much tomorrow as I do right now. I love you, and I never want to hurt you again."

Daniel brushed away the tears that had made their way down Sam's cheeks, ignoring the ones that had escaped his own eyes. "I know, Sam, and it's not all your fault. I should have told you a long time ago." His eyes glittered both with moisture and with a bright smile as he added, "I think I knew how you felt. I was just waiting for you to realize it." Then he pulled her closer into a tender kiss.

Breaking the kiss and settling into Daniel's arms, Sam asked, "How long do you think we can stay out here?"

He kissed the top of her head. "As long as you'd like."

Sam shifted to slip her arms around his waist and responded, "I doubt that."

She snuggled into Daniel, and they sat together for several minutes, simply enjoying the night and taking comfort in each other's presence. The silence was broken when Daniel asked, "So where do we go from here?"

Sam was tempted to say, "My place," but held her tongue. She didn't want things to move that quickly. "As much as it pains me to say this, I think we should sleep on it, give it a few days so we can sort things out before we take this into a full relationship. After all, I'm still engaged, and I'm your commanding officer."

A disappointed frown darkened Daniel's face. "So we just go about our lives like nothing's changed?"

"No, absolutely not. I just think we should do this right and not get carried away by our feelings too soon." A deep frown creased her brow. "I do still have to tell Pete, and we have to discuss this with the General."

Daniel's face scrunched into a grimace. "Do we have to tell Jack?" Sam wasn't sure if he was joking.

Sam nodded forcefully. "Yeah, we do. I don't want to run around being secretive about this. I feel like I've been doing that with my feelings for years, and I'm sick of hiding them like a dirty secret."

"All right. You're right, as usual." He squeezed her tighter for a second then added, "I'm just not looking forward to it."

Sam bit her lip. "Me either." That was an understatement.

"So when are you going to break it to Pete?"

Sam's frown deepened. "I could do it over the phone tomorrow, but if I wait to do it in person it won't be until later this week, because he's out of town until then." She toyed with the fabric of his shirt. "I don't want him to drive down from Denver just for that, so I'll probably drive up there Wednesday or Thursday night."

"Do you want me to come along?"

"No, I think that would make things worse for him. I'll do it on my own."

"All right, but if you change your mind, I'll be there."

"Thanks. I think I can handle it, though."

He ran his fingers through her hair once more. "What are you going to tell him?"

"Good question." She chewed her lip and stared at the ground as though the answer were written there. Then she looked up at him and said, "I won't tell him about you. . . er, us, if you don't want me to."

"That's up to you."

Sam nodded, not yet decided on whether it would be a good choice. That was something she'd figure out later. At the moment, though, she'd rather spend her time focusing on Daniel than such depressing thoughts. "Let's forget about other people for now," she suggested. "We'll have plenty of time to worry about them later."

A warm smile lit Daniel's face as he caressed her cheek. "All right. I can do that." His smile turned devilish as he added, "But I've got to warn you," his hand slid down her body, and he whispered in her ear, "if I focus only on you, I'm not sure I'd be able to stop myself from making love to you right here."

Sam's eyes grew large and a smile mirroring Daniel's formed on her lips. This was a new side of Daniel -- to Sam at least. And she liked it _a lot_. She kissed him hard and deep. He returned everything she gave. . . until Sam's mind began to argue, and she decided she couldn't allow herself to be overcome by impulses. Quenching the fire that seared through her body, she pulled her lips from his. In a throaty whisper, she called out, "Daniel. . . ." Not quite having succeeded in her intent, she quickly found her lips back on his, savoring their feel and taste. Steeling her resolve, she pulled away once again and added, "As much as. . ." Before she had the chance to finish, she interrupted herself with a moan of pleasure at the feel of his lips nibbling just below her ear. With great regret, she managed to breathlessly get out the words, "Daniel, as much as I enjoy this, I don't think it's a good idea."

His response was a muttered, "Mmmm. . . ." His hand brushed across her breast as he recaptured her lips. Sam did not object. She let herself melt into his arms as his lips trailed their way down the opposite side of her neck. Much to her disappointment, the sensation soon stopped, and she heard the words, "You're right." Then he placed a long, soft kiss on her lips, which made Sam realize just how deeply she regretted having stopped him.

His lips drew away, and with eyes still closed, she took in a deep breath and bit her lip. Her eyes fluttered open, and she whispered, "Well, if you keep doing that, I might just change my mind."

Placing his hands around her bottom and pulling her into his lap, Daniel nuzzled her ear and responded, "I'd better stop then. This bench doesn't seem like the most comfortable place for that."

Sam tilted her head back and ran her fingers through his hair. "My bed would work much better," she cooed.

"Mmmm. But it's half an hour away." He ran his hand up her bare thigh as he kissed her neck. "This bench is right here." With his free hand, he slid the thin strap of her dress off her shoulder and began giving it the same treatment he'd given her neck.

Pushing her body against his and reveling in his touch, Sam didn't think there was any way she could refuse at this moment. "I should stop you before I actually consider it," she breathed.

Daniel spent a little more time on her shoulder then slowly slipped the strap back into place as he worked his way back up her neck and whispered in her ear, "Don't worry. I would never think of making love to you any place other than a warm, comfortable bed." After a soft nibble on her earlobe, he added, "The first time at least."

Only a few caresses away from pulling him to the ground and tearing off his clothes as they went down, Sam responded, "Daniel Jackson, I think I underestimated you."

Regretfully, the kisses that had made her body tingle stopped. "Oh?" Daniel asked as he pulled back to look her in the eye.

Sam stammered then immediately wished she hadn't spoke. Admittedly, she'd never really given much thought to how good Daniel might or might not have been in bed. It'd always been a mental image she'd sought to avoid. Whenever the thought had inadvertently crossed her mind, she'd always pictured him as being somewhat awkward and clumsy. Looking back, she realized she'd never properly updated her assessment from that of the sneezy, almost clumsy man she'd first met. Even now she certainly never would have guessed he would be able to take her from ice cold to sticky, sweaty, steaming hot in the course of ten minutes. It'd taught her there might still be some things she had to learn about Daniel Jackson, and she was eagerly awaiting her lessons on the subject.

When Sam didn't respond, Daniel smiled and promised in a low tone, "Well, I'll have to demonstrate just how much you underestimated."

Sam noticed his eyes seemed to crackle with electricity as he spread his fingers through her hair and guided her lips to his. He kissed her intensely, as though he had nothing more to do for the rest of his life than to finish that kiss. He paid careful, detailed attention to her lips and mouth, but the rest of her body did not go neglected. She felt his warm hand on her outer thigh gently squeeze her bare flesh, slowly sliding its way up to become completely hidden beneath her dress.

Sam forgot all notions of waiting until they got matters in order. Hell, she was a few seconds away from forgetting her own name. Then he pulled away. She kept her eyes closed, hoping it wasn't over. As she realized it was, extreme disappointment rushed in and she tried to grasp onto the intense sensations that had flooded her body. Eventually, her eyelashes fluttered open as she tried to regain her breath and slow her pulse.

She opened her eyes just in time to see Daniel look at his watch and state, "It's really late. I should take you home."

Sam looked at him through confused blinks. Why, after the most arousing kiss she'd ever experienced, would Daniel suddenly check the time and say they had to leave? Then realization hit. He was punishing her for thinking he would be bad in bed. He was punishing her by giving her exactly what she'd asked for. They were going to wait to be together. The bastard. She wasn't sure whether to be angry or pleased. He was, after all, agreeing to her original terms, despite the fact that earlier he hadn't seemed too fond of the idea.

In the end, she decided that even if this was a punishment, it was one she'd gladly accept. It was, after all, best to be cautious and fight her impulse to throw Daniel on the grass and have her way with him.

Sam climbed off Daniel's lap and offered her hand to help him up as she said, "You're right. It is late." As Daniel accepted her hand and pulled himself to his feet, she added, "I'm glad we don't have work in the morning."

"Me, too, but it's not like we haven't gone in with less than a few hours sleep before," Daniel answered with an amused smile and just a hint of surprise, which told Sam he hadn't actually expected her to give in so easily.

"Or stayed on base and not slept at all," Sam added as they made their way down the path, falling back into their usual dynamic and leaving the kisses and caresses behind them on the bench.


	12. Chapter 12

After they'd driven a few blocks from the restaurant, Sam began to feel chilly. She rubbed her bare arms to get rid of her goose bumps. Daniel noticed and apologized that he hadn't had time to get his Jeep's heater fixed. He offered her a jacket instead. When she accepted, he pulled over and reached into the back to get one for her and a dry one for himself. As he drove on, they listened to the radio and chatted as usual. Occasionally, Daniel would reach over and squeeze Sam's hand or rub her knee when he wasn't otherwise occupied with the gearshift. That had been the extent of their physical contact since they'd left the restaurant.

They planned to take the relationship slowly, and since Sam's mind raced with thoughts of what she'd like to do with Daniel right there in his Jeep, that meant she had to keep her hands to herself. Luckily, Daniel seemed to understand this as well, and kept the contact to a minimum, but even those small, simple touches lit her body ablaze. His smile, the way he laughed, everything about him made her want to be closer, but she fought to push those thoughts aside.

After half an hour of keeping up the light banter, Daniel parked his Jeep next to the curb in front of Sam's house. She didn't wait for him to open the door, and they both climbed out. Daniel came around to meet her, and Sam interlaced her fingers with his as they made their way to her door. As they climbed the steps, Sam told him, "I had a great time tonight, Daniel."

"Me, too. I'm sorry the evening has to end."

"Yeah, me, too. I'd invite you in, but. . . " She shrugged in an attempt at both an explanation and apology. "I don't think it's a good idea."

Daniel nodded. "It's okay. I understand."

She wanted to be certain he truly did understand. She didn't want to leave him with any doubts about her feelings for him. "It's not that I don't want to. I just want to take it slow."

"I know." He kissed her forehead. "We'll have plenty of time later."

She smiled. "I really don't deserve you." Sam kissed him back, intending to make it an innocent goodnight kiss, but she felt her pulse hasten as their lips met. She quickly pulled away and declared, "I should go inside and let you get going."

He nodded and watched as she unlocked her front door. As she opened it, she turned back to say, "Goodnight."

"Goodnight," he responded as he kissed her cheek then turned and walked down the steps.

Sam closed the door and sighed with relief. She'd managed to make it all the way home without doing something she might regret. Now she could go to her bedroom, kick off her shoes, and quickly go to sleep. . . yet, her hand was still on the doorknob. It just wouldn't let go, and her legs refused to move.

Sam's chest heaved, and many long seconds passed before she threw open the door and called out, "Daniel, wait!"

He had just opened the door of his Jeep. Now, he closed it and walked toward her. Sam ran to meet him, but stopped a few feet away. "Forget taking it slow. We've had seven years for that. I want you to make love to me now."

He closed the distance between them and looked into her eyes to ask, "Are you sure?"

"Yes," she gasped as she pulled his mouth to hers.

As his lips met hers, waves of emotion washed over Sam's body. Excitement, calm, joy, sorrow, and everything in between. His arms wrapped her in safety and security, molding her body to his. Sam's fingers made their way through Daniel's hair as her lips communicated her feelings in ways words could not. A tear slipped down her cheek as she realized this was the most amazing feeling she had ever known. She loved someone with all her heart, her mind and soul, and he loved her in return. More than that, she knew she could always trust Daniel with her heart. For the first time in her life, she could relax and let down the walls she'd built up so high she was surprised anyone had ever seen past. Daniel had seen, while for so very long, she had not. Finally, the walls were down.

Sam kissed him intensely, wishing for an even deeper connection. She was torn. On one hand, she wanted to get inside and get Daniel into bed as quickly as possible. On the other, she didn't want to stop kissing him for even the few seconds it might take to rush to her bedroom and strip. She decided to compromise. Pulling him along with her, she began to slowly make her way backward.

She could imagine what the neighbors might think if they happened to be looking out their windows, but she didn't care. Let crabby old Mrs. Carr call her a hussy. It didn't matter. She was with the man she loved.

Sam found the porch steps difficult to navigate backward, and she released her lips from Daniel's long enough to reach the top. When she did, Daniel spoke up. "Sam, are you really sure about this?"

"Absolutely."

"I don't want you to feel like I was pressing you to--"

Sam silenced him by placing her fingers on his lips. "Daniel, I've always hesitated, second guessed, thought things through, and waited for the timing to be right on my relationships. But this, us. . . we're always going to be right. Hesitating and waiting for timing isn't going to make it any more right."

Sam withdrew her fingertips from his lips and began to replace them with her own lips when Daniel spoke again, "So you have no doubts about this, about your feelings for me, about us."

"None." She leaned in to kiss him once again then stopped when a thought hit her. She pulled back and looked into his eyes. "Do you?"

He shook his head. "No. I love you. I just don't think I could handle it if I woke up beside you tomorrow morning to find out you think you made a mistake."

Sam met his eyes. "That won't happen," she promised, then she kissed him, showing him exactly how much she meant those words. Taking his hand, she opened the front door, pulled him inside, and shut the door behind them. When she flipped the deadbolt and turned back to him, she found him leaning against the wall and gazing at her with a smile playing at the corners of his lips.

Even if she'd wanted to, she couldn't stop herself from smiling back. "What?" she asked.

"I haven't told you how beautiful you look," he answered. Then he held out his hand in an invitation for her to come to him.

Sam nearly ran forward, letting her jacket slide to the floor as she went. Interlacing her fingers with his, she whispered, "Thank you," and made her appreciation apparent with a kiss. Deepening the kiss, she released Daniel's hand and ran her fingers up his arms and along his well-defined chest. Taking hold of the collar of his jacket, she pushed it off his shoulders, pressing her body into his as that piece of clothing hit the floor.

Once his jacket dropped from his arms, Daniel's hands moved back to her. They started low, pulling the hem of her dress up just slightly and brushing the skin of her thigh as they made their way slowly up her body. With Daniel's hands busy in her hair, she took the opportunity to pull his shirt from its neatly tucked position in his pants.

His lips caressed their way down her neck, hitting exactly the right spot to make her shiver. Then without warning, his hands slid down and lifted her off the ground. She wrapped her legs around his waist as he took a few steps forward and pinned her against the wall.

He continued kissing her skin where he'd left off, trailing downward over her collarbone and to the cleavage that had been taunting him all night. His tongue danced along the v-shaped curve as one hand slipped the strap of her dress off her shoulder, dropping the dress lower and revealing more skin for his tongue to engage.

Sam moaned in excitement and managed to get out the words, "Bedroom. Now!"

xxxxxxxxxxxx

Daniel spent a few additional moments worshiping Sam's flesh before he complied. He stepped away from the wall, and with her legs still wrapped around him, he began to make his way to the bedroom. He was forced to stop kissing her to find his way through the dark hallway, guided only by streetlights filtering through the living room curtains. As he navigated the darkness, Sam began to give his neck the same treatment he'd given hers. A few times, she claimed his lips, causing him to halt his journey or risk running into the wall or some unseen obstacle.

At one point, he nearly hit a small, poorly placed table he swore hadn't been there the last time he'd visited. For an instant, he considered setting her down and taking her on it right there, but he steeled himself in his determination to get to the bedroom. He wanted to do things right the first time, and he'd already promised her that he would make love to her in a bed. There would be plenty of time and opportunity to get to that table -- among other places -- later.

Within minutes, he found himself in Sam's bedroom. It was not his first visit, just the first as her lover. From this new perspective, he glanced around the room and tried to take in as much as he could in the dark, to memorize every detail. Her cotton pajamas were strewn across the floor as though she'd been too rushed to fold them away like a well-trained soldier. The bed was precisely made, suggesting she hadn't been rushed until much later in the day. Every inch was tucked in perfectly, despite the sorrow and helplessness she'd confessed to feeling that morning. Most people wouldn't have bothered, but Daniel knew Sam Carter would push her tears aside to do everything she felt had to be done, no matter how trivial. She would ignore her pain until she could no longer avoid it, no longer find another task that needed her attention. He wanted to take her pain away, hoped he already had.

Daniel's attention was drawn back to Sam as she eagerly left hot, moist trails across his throat. He kissed her lips and used his foot to kick the door shut behind him. He heard Sam whisper in his ear, "I love you," at the same instant the latch clicked.

He carefully laid her on the bed, and she began to work on the buttons of his shirt as he leaned over her. With his hands holding him up on the bed on both sides of her, he was unable to touch her while she removed his shirt. He instead used his mouth to caress her skin in as many places as he could reach: her earlobe, her shoulder, her neck. . . It distracted her and slowed her progress slightly, but Sam finished before he became impatient and ripped it off himself.

She slid his shirt back, pushing him into a standing position as she did so. She moved with him to caress his bare chest and stomach with her lips as she pushed the garment from his shoulders. Once the shirt had fallen, her lips continued moving against his skin and her fingers toyed with the fabric at the front of his pants. Daniel ran his hands through her hair as her lips descended to join her fingers, and they worked to unfasten the button. Soon, his pants were unbuttoned, and he kicked away his shoes and wriggled out of his pants.

After he'd gotten rid of the second pants leg, Daniel noticed Sam leaning back and smiling up at him. He reached out and pulled her up to him. "What are you smiling at?" he asked as he drew her body into his and began nuzzling her neck.

She breathed back the obvious answer, "You."

In response, Daniel captured her lips in a deep kiss. He felt her sway in his grasp before she was able to steady herself. If she hadn't been securely wrapped in his arms, Daniel thought she might have fallen.

He still held her close as he began to work his way down her neck, then brought both hands to her shoulders to finish what he'd wanted to do since he'd first laid eyes on her that night -- to watch her dress slide down the curves of her body and hit the floor. He began with one strap then the other. He didn't let them drop. Instead, he held them and let the fabric move only enough that the top of her cleavage peeked out. His mouth sought out her breasts, seeing to it that every part of them got equal attention. Then he let the dress slip a few more inches and paid tribute to each newly revealed portion of her body. He continued all the way down until the gown finally hit the floor.

He slowly worked his way back up her firm, smooth body. His lips stopped at her mouth while his hands continued to explore. Sam's hands moved their way along his stomach to the elastic of his boxers and pushed them downward. He then carefully slipped off her panties and guided her backward onto the bed. He knelt over her and ran his hands along her skin, all the way down her legs to her feet. Daniel gently took one foot then the other and slipped off the high heels she still wore.

Taking one more opportunity to spread kisses across her delicate skin, Daniel made his way back up to gaze into her eyes. Stroking her hair, he whispered, "I love you."

"I love you, too," she whispered back as she pulled him to her.

From there, their two naked bodies became one in rhythm -- mind, body, and soul, and neither slept until the first rays of dawn overtook the darkness.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

When she awoke that afternoon, Sam was greeted by the site of Daniel's smiling face. "Morning."

"Morning." She smiled back.

Daniel lay next to her on top of the covers. He lay turned on his side with his head propped up on a pillow, dressed in his suit pants and a partially buttoned shirt. He didn't seem the least bit groggy or sleepy. In fact, he seemed wide-awake. "Did you just wake up?"

He shook his head. "Nope. Just waiting for you." A second later, he nearly leapt off the bed. He reached for Sam's hands and pulled her up to him. She begrudgingly left the warmth of the covers to be greeted by her robe being wrapped around her shoulders. She slipped her arms through the sleeves and tied the knot in front. Daniel kissed her cheek then stepped behind her. "Come on," he said as he guided her out the bedroom door.

Laid out on her table was a full breakfast of waffles, bacon, eggs, and coffee. Sam stopped and turned to Daniel with her mouth wide open. "Where did you get this food?"

Daniel shrugged. "Well, your fridge was kind of empty, so I had to make a trip to the grocery store."

Sam wrapped her arms around Daniel and squeezed him in a big hug. "Thank you."

Daniel stepped forward and pulled out her chair, allowing her to take a seat. He then moved around the table to sit across from her. "Sleep well?" he asked as he picked up his coffee cup.

Sam grinned back at him as she watched him sip the hot liquid. "Yes, very well."

She cut into her waffles as she silently laughed to herself. She couldn't believe she'd thought Daniel Jackson would be bad in bed. The notion now seemed downright silly. The only thing better had been waking up to find him right beside her, and that was definitely something Sam could get used to. She was only sorry it had taken her so long to realize it.


	13. Epilogue

Sam Carter once again leaned against the door while on a familiar porch, waiting for a man she knew all too well to greet her. Once again, she was nervous and uncertain, uncertain about what to say and how to act. This time, Daniel Jackson was not behind the door.

Sam had left work early to make the drive from Colorado Springs to Denver. That afternoon, the drive had felt much longer than she'd remembered. She'd had plenty of time to think about what to say and what to expect. . . too much time.

She'd come alone. Daniel had assured her he was just a phone call away.

As Pete pulled the door open, Sam stood to face him. "Hey, hon. Why didn't you just use your key?" He beamed with a radiant smile that once would have melted her heart. This time, it dropped into her stomach. Pete noticed, and his face filled with concern. "Sam, are you okay? You didn't sound good on the phone, but I thought once you got up here, you'd. . ." His voice died away. He must have noticed, suspected something by now.

"We need to talk," she repeated from their phone conversation earlier that day.

His face fell. "Yeah, sure." He stepped aside to let her pass.

She took a seat on the sofa, and Pete followed. Sam took a deep breath. "Pete, I don't know exactly how to say this. It's very hard for me to do, but--"

Pete cut her off. "Wait." He looked into her eyes, searching them for an answer. He glanced down at her left hand. Her ring finger was noticeably bare. Disbelief and sadness filled his voice as he leaned forward and practically whispered, "Sam, are you breaking up with me?"

He knew her too well. Sam fought back the nerves building in her stomach and creeping their way upward. She nodded. "Yes."

Silently, Pete stood and paced the room. Sam watched his every movement. "I'm sorry. Pete, you're a wonderful man." She shook her head as she tried to soften the blow. "I wanted this to work so badly, but. . ." Her voiced trailed off as she questioned how much to reveal to him.

Pete stopped pacing to face her. His eyes filled with pain. He didn't raise his voice. "It's Jack, isn't it?"

Sam's back straightened. She'd never suspected that Pete knew anything about those feelings. "No, it's not Jack."

Pete looked at her skeptically. "Sam, can you honestly tell me this isn't because of him? I've seen the way you look at him, the way you talk about him." He crossed the room to sit next to her once again. "I know you have feelings for him. I'd always hoped you loved me more, but if that's the reason, you can tell me." He did his best to force a smile. "I can't promise you I'll be ecstatic for you both, but in some way, I'll be happy for you."

Sam looked into his eyes and squeezed his hand. "Pete, I promise you that I'm not breaking up with you to be with Jack."

"Oh." He sighed and nodded. "Then why? I don't understand. Aren't you happy?"

"Yes. No." She shook her head and amended, "Almost."

"Almost?"

Sam took a deep breath. "Pete, you're wonderful. You're everything I could have ever asked for in a man." Sam searched for the right words. "But something's missing." Her eyes left Pete's as she found herself fighting against the feelings she still held for him. "I just can't give you my whole heart."

He shook his head. "I don't understand."

Sam met his eyes as she explained, "My heart belongs to someone else. It has for quite some time, and I could never give it fully to anyone but him." She shook her head. "Not even you or Jack."

Pete's face filled with confusion. "Who?" His brain was obviously working overtime to come up with an answer.

Sam bit her lip then admitted, "Daniel."

"What?" Pete exclaimed. His voice was tinged with jealousy. "Are you kidding me?" His face dropped to his hands. "I don't believe this." He resumed pacing. "I had this feeling there was something between you the second I saw you together. I even asked the nurses who took care of me on the base about you two. They laughed at me. They said you were like family." He shook his head. "I can't believe I convinced myself I had nothing to worry about. Here I was worried about Jack all this time, and you tell me you're in love with Daniel." He looked at her with agony and accusation in his eyes. "Why were you even with me if you were so in love with him?"

His pain might as well have been a dagger thrust into Sam's heart. "I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I just never realized it before."

Pete collapsed on the sofa and sighed. Slowly shaking his head, he uttered. "Yeah, okay. I don't really understand that, but okay."

"Pete--"

"No, Sam, really. It's fine. I can accept that you didn't realize you loved him. Just tell me this: Did you ever love me?"

"Of course, I did. I still do. But we're just not meant to be together." Sam pulled the engagement ring from her pocket and placed it in Pete's palm. "You deserve someone who can give you back the kind of love you've given me." She placed her hand over his as he closed his fingers around the ring. Tears threatened to escape her eyes. "I wish I could have been that person."

Pete nodded, and with a bitter smile, he answered, "Yeah, me, too."

They remained in silence for several seconds. Sam glanced at Pete. He didn't look at her. Mustering up her courage, Sam broke the silence. "I brought your things from my house. I can go get them out of my car now if you want."

Pete stood and sat the ring on his coffee table. "No, I'll get them."

Sam argued, "No, I'll--"

He lifted his hand to silence her. "I'd rather have you pack up your things while I'm getting mine."

"Okay." Sam nodded and handed him her keys. She went about collecting the items she'd left in his house over the course of their time together. Tears made their way down her cheeks as she retrieved her things from his bathroom. Her toothbrush, her hairbrush, her shampoo. . . she remembered when she'd first bought them specifically to keep at Pete's instead of transporting the ones from her house back and forth each visit. She'd been so happy even as she'd doubted whether she was doing the right thing. She mourned the loss of that happiness.

Sam finished putting everything into the bag she kept in Pete's closet and met him in the living room. He was sitting on the sofa with the boxes he'd removed from her car next to him. His eyes were red and puffy, still damp with tears.

"I've got everything," Sam announced, trying to avoid meeting his gaze.

He nodded. "Good." He tapped his hands against his leg and looked at the floor. "So this is it?"

She bit her lip. "Yeah."

He stood and stretched out a hand to return her car keys. "Well, good luck with everything."

Sam looked at the bag filled with one half of everything that used to be a part of their life together. "Thanks. You, too." She took a step then turned back to him. "I mean that." Swallowing back a fresh wave of tears, she quickly made her way out of Pete's house.

Sam silently closed the door behind her and paused to take a deep breath. This was it. Her engagement was off. She'd probably never see Pete again. She strode to the edge of the stairs and stopped, then turned back to look at the life she was leaving behind. She wondered if she'd made the right decision. Even as she'd broken up with him, Pete had never stopped being the same loving and kind man she'd known. He hadn't yelled, hadn't blown up at her. He'd simply accepted her decision. Sam couldn't help but think about how her mother had always said that a man who truly loved her would want her to be happy even if it wasn't with him. Maybe she'd acted hastily. Maybe she was giving up on her one true love.

As Sam felt the warm rays of the setting sun, she looked up at the sky. It was the color of Daniel's eyes.

A smile worked its way across her face as she remembered everything he meant to her. Pete loved her very much, and she was giving up a lot to let go of that, but she could never love him the way she loved Daniel.

Sam hitched her bag over her shoulder and stepped off the porch. She looked up at the sky once more. Never had a sky on this planet or any other looked so beautiful. Tossing the bag into her car, Sam climbed in and headed for Colorado Springs.


End file.
